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It is natural to wonder WHY? With all three, it seemed a different reason. Grandma just seemed to need something to collect to help her feel secure. Neighbor just needed something in her hands. Mom, the one with Alzheimers, I pondered long and hard about. I concluded that the paper in the bathroom usage had much to do with the state of Mom's consciousness. Her world was reduced to the moment, to the immediate. I theorized that when Mom went to the bathroom, she would forget that she had already wiped, so she did it again...and again...and again.
We also removed all tissue from the bathrooms, setting a roll in a closed cabinet nearby for family members, but only a few sheets doled out to Mom whenever she had to go. This worked well, but it required that one of us be almost constantly available to Mom to do so.
I too, welcomed the incontinence when it finally arrived. Little did I know that changing would then become a terrible bone of contention between Mom and me. So, be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.
The toilet tissue phase lasted a good four or five years in our family. We all had to get used to the routine of handing Mom some tissue on the way to the bathroom, or bringing some to her if she got there before we did. In the end, one of us had to always accompany her for she forgot where the bathroom was and once there, sometimes forget what was supposed to be done there. BM in the late stages became the same problem and often feces went on the floor instead of in the toilet.
Not everyone goes through all of these stages of course, but maybe hearing about it and how common it is will help someone else. I don't know why we have to try to find a reason for everything, but that is how we are hooked up. I just always tried to imagine how it would be if I could not remember anything from one moment to the next.
I sure wish I had found this forum long ago. Keep up all the good work, posters. WE need each other!
Dad uses LOTS of TP. We called the plumber about every six weeks to clean out the drains. He said DO NOT use "flushable wipes" as they are not really flushable, and do not disintegrate. As for the TP, since Dad insists on using so much, we stock his bathroom with the cheapest TP we can get that is safe for a septic system.
I think hers was a nervous thing. Just needed to do something with her hands.
Caring for Dad now in my home and he won't use enough TP for my likes. He rations it like it is a dollar a sheet.
But then he also squirrels away tissues in his pockets like it is the last one, so better keep it and they go in his pockets and disintegrate in the laundry. He comes from a generation where you throw nothing away. Use everything until it is worn out or broken, then have it repaired or patched up.