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Even though I told this person I've gone through this enough and learned through experience to choose my battles carefully, she still left me with a verbal list of things she thinks ought to be done.
She is right in some sense that it would increase safety, but she didn't seem to comprehend that I've learned to pick my battles carefully, and even then only the ones I can win. I learned that from a very wise boss back in the late '70s.
With limited energy, I want to focus on what I know I can achieve, not what I've tried unsuccessfully and eventually backed off on because of resistance.
And with my father entering probably the last months of his life, I don't want to quarrel with him; I want each of us to enjoy these times and to be grateful that we had each other in our lives.
I know its hard enough to be a caregiver, we certainly don't need to hear judgement or insensitive comments. It felt like more insult to injury when I was carrying the burden of taking care of my dad.
In hindsight, I wish I was more assertive and I could calmly say "I know you mean well, but what you are saying is not helpful and please don't say that again to me."
Take care of yourself the best you can. Sending hugs!