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So much for his not wanting to see her several months ago because it would be too depressing. Now, neither is able to see each other and he may well die before she does. Life is so full of ironic turns and twists. The opportunity we have to do something good one day might not be possible on another day because of the unexpected.
Always ask yourself this question: If I were in that situation, would I want to know if my beloved granddaughter had passed? If the answer is no, then you did the right thing. For do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.
Perfect peace would be nice, but I think will only be known in heaven given my Bipolar II as well as my wife's and our youngest son's ADHD. Thanks for your supportive prayers. We can use all of those we can get.
I don't believe in coincidences, nor do I believe Mom's asking about her sibling on the same day was in any way a coincidence. I share that all to say, give yourself a little contemplative time. If you're not a believer in prayer, it doesn't really matter, just ask Spirit, or the universe to lead you in revealing when, and/or whether to let your Mom know what she may need to know. It all depends. I know you'll do the right thing.
Sending positive thoughts your way, Crowe, including for your Mom and her brother. Life sure throws its share of curve-balls, doesn't it? Best.
That would make a big difference in what you tell her. If she is fully aware and is emotionally close to her brother, she would probably want AND be able to process a lot more details than if she has limited mental acuity or is herself in failing health. It seems a shame to unload such sorrowful and hopeless news onto her if she is fragile or mentally diminished.
You could simply tell her that her brother is ill (not doing too well) and is under doctor's care. What could she herself do if she were constantly kept apprised of detailed developments in his health and medical care other than to sit and worry helplessly?
If she can travel, and wants to visit him, understanding that he is ill, that opportunity might keep her from feeling that she was unable to go comfort him or had 'missed saying goodbye' if he should pass away before she
does.
When my adult child passed away unexpectedly, I did not tell my aged mother.. I knew it would devastate her and engulf her in unbearable grief.
for the remainder of her life. She was in no physical or mental shape to deal with such devastating news. She passed away 5 months later, never having known her precious granddaughter had died.
I would use as much caution as you think your mom handle-Dementia is very strange in regards to what one person may be able to process another may not.
With this being said-I would then decide just how much information you can give your mom ...I personally do not think there is a clear cup reply to this question-just an opinion.
If you are still not sure which direction to take-contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association for further input, or your mom's physician or neurologist.
Good luck!
Hap
My dad did not have dementia. But some of his relatives do have dementia and we did not tell those members when he passed.