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Do I expect that any one of my kids will step up to take care of me?
Nope.
Still married, but to a man with multiple health problems and I have almost lost him 4 times already, so, I plan I will be a semi-young widow.
We have saved as much money as we can, and plan to move to a 2 story home that can have the basement be an apartment, for either grands coming to go to college or for CGs for either one or both of us, should the need arise.
I have seen so many people in your exact situation, and although I do feel for them, I think that is what has spurred me to action. (DH doesn't care, he thinks I will always be here, doing all the 'stuff'. I know better. Mother has been a widow for 16 years now, and altho she is 90, she could easily make it to 100. You can outlive your 'worth' as it were.)
You can entrust and attorney to handle your affairs, when the time comes. A lot of people do just that.
Right now you are probably feeling lost and drifting, w/o your parents around and no close family. Do you have ANY family? Not to be using them, but now you have some time--can you link up with them again?
The idea of a grief group or even a support group of like-minded individuals might be helpful at this time.
And, bless you for being able to care for your folks for so long. That is incredible and wonderful. You have a loving, giving spirit. Let that be your guide.
You learn to adapt to it--okay people die, and nobody escapes death. The only person who is suffering is myself--she no longer suffers the ills of the flesh. It's over for her. Mine has only just begun. So mourn for yourself. But also never forget death is natural--it is something people are supposed to do. I am extremely thankful I have no children so spare them this kind of suffering of life.
In many ways this is a source of comfort knowing the cycle of life-suffering-death is over for mom and nothing on heaven or earth can ever hurt her. So save your tears for yourself and do your best to recreate yourself in the midst of change.
You are no longer your mom's or dad's child. You are yourself.
I no longer am afraid of life -- because what could possibly hurt me any worse than losing mom.
https://www.ericksonliving.com/wind-crest?utm_source=google&utm_medium=local&utm_campaign=WCD
I don't know if you have properties like this where you live, or if properties like this exist elsewhere, but I'm sure they do since many people do not want to be a burden to family members and expect to be cared for by them. Not everybody even WANTS such a thing (me included).
Best of luck finding a good alternative that works for you!
It does not sound like you have taken care of yourself and it might be a little late now as far as earning enough money, making new friends, or maybe even getting to know some of your relatives. I have no idea what I would do if I were in your shoes. I'm 63 and an only child.
EVERYONE: Making doctor appts for yourself can be very frustrating and inconvenient when you're the caregiver for someone. Who will watch them? How will it fit in and around their care? And paps and mams are so very uncomfortable, but only for a very brief amount of time. Hopefully your own lab results will be negative, or at the very worst can catch cancer early. Now I preach to all of my female friends and relatives to make it happen and GETTER DONE.
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