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So she had 3 outings a week, and it cost me only about 2 hours time and $60 a week.
When she called I could say "We will take care of it Sunday". OR "Can you do it with your nurse?" OR "That doesn't sound too difficult, maybe the friend who picks you up for Bible Study could help you with that before you leave for church."
Perhaps you could relax a bit that overwhelming need to please your mommy, from childhood. Obviously I don't mean be mean to her. Just treat her as you do adult friends. Sometimes you can do them favors, sometimes you can't. And all parties thrive on mutual respect.
I have my 83 year old grandmother who has dementia living with me. My mother had a stroke in 2010 and somehow I got my grandmother. One sister lives in TX and the other sister comes and picks my grandmother up every other weekend and nothing more. My mother lives in a convalescent facility and I visit her during my lunch hour. My relationship with my boyfriend has become extremely strained (oh did I mention his 14 year old daughter had to come stay at our house).
We pay a caregiver to come from 9 - 5 Monday through Friday. I get off at 4:30 each day. I have to rush home to change her and cook dinner.
I AM TIRED. Most days I cry from fear that I will end up like my mother.
I am urgently in search of an overnight senior care center so I can go on vacation that doesn't include doctor appointments or last minute sick caregiver days.
I don't know whether your sibs are thoughtless louts or have their own issues with duty/love/exploitation. I think I would tend to resent them, too, but really, they are entitled to work things out in their own ways. Do what you feel is "your share" and let Mother be the one to either get them to help or make up for it in some other way. That "other way" can't be dumping their share on you, because you are setting boudnaries about what you will do, regardless of what anyone else does, right?
Tough issues. Good luck to you!
You might as well hehave like an only child in this regard. There are articles on here about how to get siblings to help, but from what I've read of the real caregiver situation, that is a long shot.