It’s been a few years since I’ve been on. My mother had lived with me in my state. She had got me to the point that I considered ending my life because of all the constant misery. I quit my job for 3 months and moved her up north near my brother. She eventually hated where she moved and had confrontation with the person running the place. My brother has a very demanding job that doesn’t give him much time to spend hrs at a doctors appointment. He moved her to a assisted living facility that is brand new. It has lots of people… Drs, nurses, 3 meals, physical therapy everything she needs so he doesn’t have to worry when he is out of town. I have recently learned that she has early symptoms of dementia… that she says is not true. My brother has done backward flips to get this completed. Everyday I talk to her she just continues to put him down and complains about what he is not doing. She always wants me to take her side to where it becomes an argument. She also lives negatively constantly living in the past and all the wrong doings to her. No one in the family likes to call her or visit because she causes conflict. There is just so much more to this story. My brother was supposed to visit her today and take her to eat. That didn’t happen because she called him a traitor and he didn’t love her and that she was going to move and she has only been in her new apartment for a month. This event was caused by him mistaking that she could get her pain medication thru the doctors at the facility and not return to the pain Dr. He wanted to simplify and make sure she always had access to her meds in case he was out of town for work. I was the bad horrible person when she lived with me and now since she has lived close to him he is now the bad guy. She loves her children… but she claims she can say and do whatever she wants to her kids because she is the mom. Today I had to tell her I love her and hang up on her. The conversation was leading to an argument. I am exhausted mentally from listening to all the negativity that I listen to for hrs each day on the phone. I love her but she is never happy. I don’t know what to do for her
just a warning: even the most positive person in the world will be affected by someone else's constant negativity. it's NOT possible for it to roll off your back.
you will see the effects not just on your mind, but on your body (usually gaining weight), on your face when looking in the mirror (unhappy), on missed opportunities in life (because your mind is focused on that other person's negativity), etc., etc.
Call her as often as YOU want to and hang up when she starts the negativity.
I would suggest that she be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for what sounds like depression and agitation.