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Home / Caregiver Forum / Senior Living / Caregiver Support / Elder Care / Money and Legal
Please do not say "we can't afford it" until you have turned over EVERY possible stone and looked at all resources.
And it's a waste of time an energy to stay upset with your bro.... is there a possiblity he would send you some money for some help...? If not, then you, like so many here, have to FIND a way..... Is there a Senior Center in your town that she could go to for a few hours??? There's a way to get a break.... if for only a few minutes at a time..... none of this is easy, but you know what the resentment will get you... don't give your power away like that.... find a way...... sending you hugs.... and prayers...
Lavender, the real "solution" here is to arrange adequate respite. You MUST get away from this situation regularly.
What is Mother's financial situation?
One thing that works for me is to tell my mother it isn't working out and I am going to have to leave. She knows she can't make it without me, so gets really sweet for a while. Finally the fangs reappear, though.
This evening I had a sobering thought. I am 60 now, so am looking at the last 20 good years of my life. I've been taking care of my mother and father for the past three years, while my own life has dwindled to meaningless. Many of us are in the same boat, giving up far too much to people who are awful to us. We shouldn't have to put up with it, because our lives are as important as theirs. (Really, what would people think if we treated our parents as badly as they treat us? Yet we are people, too.)