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When my DH had a liver transplant and subsequent horrible infection--he was just so very, very sick...for months.
The VERY LAST THING I wanted or needed was people calling, visiting, hassling me. (I called it hassling but I know they cared). I guess you can say I DID deny access to him, for about 4 months.
I was stressed out of my mind. He was sick and half the time so out of it, he didn't know what was going on. I finally had to block calls and put a sign on the front door that basically told people "we appreciate your love and concern, but cannot handle visits at this time."
I heard, years later, that a lot of people were offended by that. Well--he was supremely immunosuppressed an a bad cold could have killed him. Plus we had rotten nights and I often napped during the day b/c I was would be up all night.
You do have the concern of his "circling the wagons" as per money, assets, and that is troubling, to an extent. He is the current spouse, kids don't really have a right to "expect" an inheritance. At this point in time they should simply be supporting this gentleman in his efforts to care for their mom.
You know this man, but if you are unsure about motives, yes, I guess getting "legal" on him may assuage your worries.
IMHO, a man who takes loving care of a sick spouse wins a special award. It's really fairly unusual.
Put yourself for a moment in the devil's advocate's shoes.
You are the husband of a stroke victim. You fear that her children will take this opportunity to asset-strip her. Becoming increasingly anxious about it, you attempt to control their access to her and ensure that all their interactions with her are monitored.
You see the other side of the coin? And we on the forum have no way of knowing which is the flip side.
Your concern about the husband's isolating the lady might be something you can work on; but there again it depends what you mean exactly by "has denied access." Having been a 24/7 caregiver for a stroke patient, I can testify that it's a busy old schedule he'll have on his hands. Denied, or hasn't got his act together to arrange, access? It's a big difference.
OK I think the rule of thumb here is if he is open about everything and works with family members in the decision making process then it could all be on the up and up. Maybe he needs support he doesn’t know what to do so he’s closing down himself. Maybe he’s too distraught with all his own stress about it. Offer to help Or help him get support. But if he’s closed down and doesn’t want any interaction and wants to control everything without anyone else’s input then I too would be very worried. Protect her.
https://statelaws.findlaw.com/ohio-law/ohio-marital-property-laws.html
Community Mediation services of Central Ohio
Elder Care: We help families develop care-taking disposition arrangements for an aging or otherwise disabled love one.
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Hopefully your ex was wise and put her money in trusts. Does new husband have POA? If not, anyone. If its you, then you may be able to override new husband if ex can't handle her finances then u do, not the husband.
he is her husband. He will likely be her inheritor. Maybe he is concerned that it is the rest of her family that this working to cut him out of the picture?
Try just talking to him without her. See if he can come to understand that her children really just want to be able to see their Mom. Maybe offer supervised visits? Try to settle his mind down concerning the motives of her children.