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Do raise bees? If so, that is so cool! I'm intrigued by bees...
To answer your question the simple rule is this:
A trust will have a trustee. If accounts are titled in the name of the trust the account will read: XYZ Trust dated 00/00/0000 XYZ, Trustee.
Assets in the trust are governed by the terms of the trust at the grantor's demise. Not by the will (unless the trust directs proceeds back to the estate of the deceased), or by other ownership, or by beneficiary (testamentary) provisions.
I called her son-in-law to tell him since the older sibling doesn't speak to me or to her mother. I called their daughter to make sure that she knew. I called my other siblings. I called her siblings.
Her oldest grandchild told me that she had issues with her grandmother. Her son-in-law told me that he didn't know what to say. Younger siblings said thanks for calling, we'll call her at the hospital --- only one who called was her son and he told her how a friend of his had turned septic within a matter of hours and died the same day she was released from the hospital. My mother's brothers were called and one of them proceeded to scream at me because older sister's gone and told another whopper to the relatives as to why she has no contact with her mother. As if I didn't have enough to deal with, now I had to deal with their misguided anger in defense of older sister and her issues. In the meantime, I put over eight hundred miles on the car going back and forth to the hospital to be there for my mother so that she wasn't alone.
On Friday, one of her nieces got upset because the landlord's maintenance had issues at another one of his properties and didn't have time to install a ceiling fan in her bedroom. She also found fault with the way that the yard was trimmed, like I didn't already have enough to worry about.
Now, the issue is this: how much information is owed ANY of them when they don't really give a flip if she lives or dies as long as they get their share when her life is over? They don't help. Quite frankly, the only time they seem to know the phone number is when they want something. I almost told her brothers about older sister's attempt to DNR our mother when our mother was just gone from the room for a test, but they wouldn't believe it if I did. The only reason why she didn't get her way was because I flat out told her no.
And I still remember the Mother's Day when her oldest grandchild screamed as she came into our home "Nanny, I know what I want when you die" at the top of her lungs. Uh huh. Love? Nope. Greed? You bet.
I'll tell you how much information they're owed morally --- absolutely none.
I am getting better at telling people to mind their own business when it comes to MY involvement with my mom and if anything earth shattering should happen, I will let them know. Practicing setting boundaries is essential.
It shouldn't have to be like this. The last battle she should have to fight is over someone's lies.
I have specifically asked that nothing be left to me in any will she makes out. I don't want anyone to think that what I've done for her was for any reason other than I love her. God knows, and I know, that it's the only reason I've been able to stick it out while the others run.
"Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic is 1) Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable. 2) Manipulating. She’s making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties. 3) Being selfish. She doesn’t mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way. 4) Blaming. She did something wrong, but it’s all your fault. 5) Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours. 6) Putting on a self-pitying drama. She’s a martyr who believed the best of you, and you’ve let her down. 7) Parentifying. You’re responsible for her feelings, (and behaviors) she takes no responsibility for yours.
Also, narc people are afraid of facts. So, keep a journal and keep good records of expenses and everything. I had to gain strength and Sandra and I both submitted a report of Elderly abuse for the land and money. That seemed to scare my brother and sister.
You go girl!