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Be careful that it doesn't come across as being more interested in the financial aspect than the care aspect. Legally, you are not entitled to information until he dies. And it puts an additional burden on the POA to provide this info. But, if you suspect that either the person or the finances are being abused, you can hire an attorney to file legal documents (in court) to require proof. It's not generally the best course unless you really suspect bad faith on the part of the POA.
So if the trust comes into effect after death, I do not think there is a mandatory reason for it to be shared, it can be a good idea to share it so there are no surprises.
I would have your wife contact the care home, I would travel the 1000 miles to do it face to face, get someone of authority in the room and ask dad if it is okay that the care home give you information about him and how he is doing. That way they have his verbal permission and can share otherwise protected information. Be sure and record the conversation so that there is proof that he said okay.
Is there family issues that would cause the sister with POA to not share how dad is doing? Maybe a phone call or visit when she goes to see dad could help get things straightened out.