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Would you tell her if she had cancer? Heart disease? MS? I'm sure you would. Rather, I'm sure the doctor would. Once diagnosed. a treatment regimen would begin. But those diseases don't have the stigma that dementia has. And because of that, and the fact that most dementias have no treatment or cure, some doctors don't have the guts to tell the patient, afraid of the reaction by the patient and/or family.
I'm sorry this obligation has been placed on you but yes, you should tell her. Many people live a fruitful life in the early stages. Encourage her and support her to live as normal life as she can.
I like to think that it helped both of us to take care of her. She was never difficult with me. Still she did things that did not work like they should, like pouring a cu of coffee. But we worked around all of them . Some times we would cry together or just hug and I would tell her it was okay and I would take care of it. And I did.
I wish you the best.
I say "Well, we all have memory issues, mom, I know it's frustrating. Maybe you should bring this up with the dr."
She never does, and we just deal with her fairly gently....yes, she has some level of cognitive dissonance, but what's the point of telling her she has it and it's noticeable? She forgets as soon as you say something.
Yet she makes fun of those people she knows who do obviously suffer from a higher level of dementia, like the fact she can do a puzzle makes her 'better' than them. That's the only part of her memory lapses I can't handle.
But if you'd like to say more about the situation you're faced with, perhaps we can suggest how to put it so that she benefits from the knowledge and isn't frightened by it.