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If she is that way with all hospitals, you may need to have a conversation with her about hospice as others have suggested. I've seen on here where some say their loved ones don't do medical visits at all (loved one wishes). That latter part I would not be okay with. If they didn't want to do medical visits at all, then I would have to insist on hospice to have some guidance with caring for my loved one.
Let us know what mom decides.
Usually if you request, they will provide. Or (forwarned and forearmed) I generally bring my own supplies. Or call a friend or relative to bring.
I agree with Barb. I would check into hospice.
They do treat UTIs, so she wouldn't have to suffer that way. Many people actually do better because of the additional support and interactions.
Hope mom feels better soon.
With Hospice, you would have an RN on call 24/7 who could have someone come out and assess mom for a UTI and treat it.
A good example is my husband has had a feeding tube for 5 years but we now only use it for one meal and he eats two modified meals by mouth daily. A friend whose husband was in a similar situation went to ER because his tube had come out (they sometimes have to be replaced). The ER doctor refused to put a new one in based on the wishes he had stated! My husband's wishes are not to use a feeding tube in an end of life situation but his healthcare POA allows me to over ride it if I have a good reason... so I could prevent a doctor from ever refusing to replace his tube if he is not near death. Be sure everyone understands their rights when you have documents created.
The fact she is still mixing her words makes me suspect a small stroke rather than a TIA, but I'm sure you already know that TIA's are warning signs that a stroke may be imminent - does she have a regular doctor you can go to instead?
If your mom has dementia, is she really the best judge of whether or not she should go to the hospital?
What outcome are you looking for with an ER visit? Confirmation that mom had another TIA?
Would it be a good thing if a three day hospital stay qualified her for a three week or so stint in rehab, or would mom also be miserable in rehab?
At some point, with my mom, we determined that going to the ER/hospital was doing her more harm than good; no additional diagnoses or treatments were useful and the confusion and med mistakes were very harmful.
Is it time to consider Hospice if mom doesn't want treatment of her issues?
As to POA, it may be well past the time that she can sign one.
Has she at least signed a HIPAA form so that you can speak to the doctors, and speak FOR her if she is incapacitated? EVERYONE over 55 should have HIPAA, Healthcare proxy and Financial POA. EVERYONE--even those of us who are "fine".
Read a little book called "Five at 55".
It’s not that Mum doesn’t want treatment but she does not want to be in hospital. And I don’t blame her because the few times have all been like a marathon. It requires endurance. So she has associated a negative feeling against it. It’s the whole various tests, no sleep, all the noise, no food or drink, different people, waiting waiting etc etc. I get it,.. it’s an ER, they are busy! But for someone with dementia,.. it’s too much. It would be different if she went straight to a ward and they ran all the tests at once but we all know this is not possible. Having said that,.. even with that she’d want to go home if nothing was wrong.