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Best of luck with your upcoming surgeries. And my condolences on the loss of your dear husband.
People around, activities, yet the freedom to drive my wheels, shop and enjoy life.
Living there is like being on a cruise ship, but better. There’s a warm water pool, there are fantastic gardens, and there is always something to do.
Start slow. For instance, in my town good public transit and there are library "movie days", getting to know tech days, knitting classes. Look at nearby senior centers that may serve lunch. Consider joining a faith based community. I am an atheist but there are Unitarians and such I could quite come to love for companionship, a few games, and etc.
Meanwhile explore online the costs of ALF in Illinois (if that's one choice) and where you are (if that's another).
Consider taking in a boarder but BE CAREFUL and have them fully vetted with great recommendations; can be difficult to dislodge if a poor fit.
I would continue on this year until the anniversary of the loss of your dear hubby. I myself and and would be quite content alone. Am by nature a bit of a loner. Not everyone is. Get interested in something. Collage, sketching, photography, classes offered by your doctors group or hospital, Thai Chi great for balance. Write your memoirs. Take up PODCASTS. (Start with Hysterical and Noble!). Read a lot more. Branch out into the world a bit, keep the joints oiled with walks. Consider fostering. Kittens? a dog through a rescue? We at 82 and 84 are still fostering.
Good luck. My condolences on your loss. I am sure you speak with him often. Problem is that they won't answer us back when they go ahead of us.
You might decide to move to Independent or Assisted Living at some point, but don't make a move just b/c you are lonely. Independent apartments and Assisted Living do not guarantee friendships. Participate in activities that interest you and freindships may develop as a result. It does not work to make friend-finding the goal. There will be times you will feel lonely. Honor that and accept it but don't let it take over your life. Find things you enjoy doing, even a little bit at a time. The "enjoy" times will get longer and the lonely times will get shorter. You will always miss your husband and feel that loss, but you will earn to carry that loss with you as you go on about your life.
Hire the help you need for chores and home and yard maintenance at least for now. You might find occasional senior service or church volunteer help for minor jobs, but I have found that even the most well-meaning volunteers really are not up to the task and that it's better to hire professional help and get things done right.
At 82/83 we are asking ourselves the same questions. Currently, I am quietly donation / chucking as best I can. Just look at one item at a time - you'd be surprised what you have not used in years - and probably won't, even if you stay in the house.
Get a house cleaner - please. I've had one for 10 years and she is a godsend.
Ditto a gardener. Mine comes when I ask so it's not a monthly commitment.
Get used to hiring for what you need done - need new faucet, buy what you like and get a local handyman to install it (or let him advise on the faucet) - that kind of thing. The expense is still less than rent elsewhere, assuming you have no mortgage.
Indeed, libraries and senior centers provide company and interest groups.
For any of the above, ask your neighbors and friends for referrals.
Good luck going forward. You are asking the "right" questions. Just do what feels right for you in the new year. We're right there with you. :)
Sonja
It consisted of activities like breakfasts, lunches, occasional dinners, dances, going to plays, concerts and outdoor games like bocci, bowling and although I don't play a lot of the "senior" card games, we had a monthly poker game and potluck which was a ton of fun..
I highly recommend this as a place to have activities with friends your age and get out a bit.
meetup.com has groups nationwide.
You might check it out.
We'd been very worried about him after his wife passed as he was somewhat introverted, quiet, with very few friends, no hobbies. His entire life 20 years previous had been caring for his spouse with autoimmune illnesses.
An old friend convinced him too check out her church, then introduced to meet group and the rest is history. He's in charge of the local Lions building, joined the membership, scheduled dinners and lunches all 5 days, attends soccer games of members grandkids and has been on 2 cruises with his new 80 year old girlfriend. His meet group also offer quiet spiritual support when needed. It's been over 2 years since I've encouraged him to sell his huge home and move into a 55 independent living community.
He just doesn't need to!!
I also agree with other advise to begin checking out various Living Independent communities to create a solid plan if you become more physically challenged.
Good luck.