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You do have your hands full as a single father of 3 children. They and yourself are your first priority. Then you need to make sure your grandmother is safe and taken care of without throwing yourself and your children under the bus. Obviously, this means you really need to keep your job because of your children, the house ya'll live in and for your own well being. Then, you also need to take care of you for you have so many depending on you plus taking good care of oneself is part of a healthy life.
Does your grandmother have any assets to pay for caregivers to be with her when you go out? Who looks after her while you work? Will your grandmother need to qualify for medicaid one day day for her dementia will worsen to the point where that will be needs and who knows how soon that could be? Does your grandmother have any other adult children? If so, what do they think about the situation?
Your grandmother's anger will worsen as her dementia gets worse. Her anger could upset the two younger children and might make the older child feel like not being at home much which you don't want to happen. Also, as the children age they will have more activities which will also require more of your time to be away. That is a very important part of parenting. You need to have a plan for who will look after your grandmother when you are away for those times.
Is she lonely? Is there adult day care she could attend? One of the best things about my mom's moving to Independent Living was the increased socialization she got there.
To answer your question, I don't find guilt to be a useful emotion. If you are doing what is right, you have no reason to feel guilty.