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The caregiver [was there 7 a.m. to 1p.m.] would get Dad ready for the day.... direct him to the dining room for breakfast and lunch [she also helped the Waitstaff which they really appreciated her help].... told Dad in no uncertain terms he had to go for physical therapy :)
Yes, it was an added cost, but well worth being able to budget that into his care which he gladly paid. Oh, the caregiver would also take Dad to his doctor appointments and to get his hair cut.
I agree with Windyridge's post, keep your caregiver. Seeing a familiar face is so very important during this stage.
Good discussion here. Very typical situation for caregivers. I was long distance from my folks when they went to assisted living. I stayed a few days taking care of a thousand things, but I started to pull back after a couple of days. They were mad at me for putting them in that HORRIBLE PLACE where they were clean, safe and were eating the HORRIBLE food like lumberjacks. My presence just reminded them of all things home and the good old days.
Since I’m not there much I also use a companionship caregiver, originally to keep mom from falling so much, then kept her on after mom died to help dad transition to memory care. She still comes in twice a week and visits dad. They watch tv, he tells his stories about olden times and she takes him for walks in the courtyard. If the budget allows I would keep your sitter. It’s been good for my dad.
Maybe start cutting back the caregivers time. Allow staff to get Mom up, dressed and out to the dining area. Bathe her. Mom should interact with the other residents. The caregiver can help her ease into this but I don't really see the need for one.
I know u feel "I am only 5 min away" Me too. But don't feel you "have" to be there every day. It was so nice, I could go out to lunch or breakfast with friends again. Go to a movie with my husband. Being 5 min away, I could check on her when I got home.
U don't say Mom has any Dementia. She is always going to want her home. She is 96 in an unfamiliar place with strangers. Give her time. But, she may never adjust. Tell her, sorry Mom, but this is what you need now. You r safe and cared for. You may just have to ignore her when she says she wants to go home. Devert her attention. I always say "blame the doctor"
"I know Mom. Strange place, strange people but DR says this is where u need to be for ur safety"
Thank you all - I am going to stop daily visits....after today!