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Speaking of that love, the very best care he can have now will be provided by professionals. You will be his advocate and his rock through visiting and keeping him connected. But his physical care is complicated and needs trained professionals. This won’t change even with rehab. It could improve, but he’ll continue to need far more care than you can provide.
As was mentioned, the social worker at the rehab/nursing home will be able to help you sort through this. A chaplain may also be able to help.
jeannegibbs put it well when she says that parents want to see their children flourish. Your building your life so that when his time comes he can die in peace will be the greatest gift you can give him. Even if that doesn't seem so now, in the end it is. You are not giving up. You are getting more help - trained help.
If you get a chance, we'd love to hear from you from time to time. We're all pulling for you and your dad.
Take care,
Carol
Now that his needs are greater, you can give him another wonderful gift: the opportunity to watch you grow and flourish, while his medical needs are being met in an appropriate setting and by three shifts of professionals.
What most parents want most fervently is to see their children living a meaningful life. You need to have opportunity to grow in your job, to socialize, to perhaps form long-term bonds with someone special. Give your dad a chance to see this happening. Visit him often, where ever his care is, but now that he needs more care, do not tie up your whole life trying to provide it. That wouldn't be good for Dad and it wouldn't be good for You.
My answer is, no, you are not being selfish. I am 38 years old and at 25, I was in a very similar situation to you. 13 years later, I am trying desperately to free myself in many ways from being responsible for my mother.
No matter how much you love your father, he needs care that is beyond your scope and, you deserve to have a life outside of caring for him. You can visit with him and make sure that he knows how much you love him but, you should focus on yourself also while ensuring that he is getting the care he needs.
Sending you lots of love.
If so, rehab at a facility the very bestbthing for him, even if he were much younger with no other medical issues. Because he does have medical issues, rehab at a facility that is in a nh, rather than one that is just for rehab is a very good idea!
You don't know what dad's needs are going to be until after he rehabs. Get him into a good favility now, start the recovery process and reevaluate after he's had several weeks of pt.
Keep him in the nursing home/rehab while he is recovering. You are so young and it sounds like he needs a lot of care. You may lose your job too!
If he goes to a rehab, they will assess his needs and your circumstances. In all likelihood the social worker at the medical facility will help you get the help at home you need to assist in caring for your father's medical and physical needs if he is able to return home.
Don't go it alone. You and he both need help. God bless and I think with more professional help he will improve. It sounds like you love your father very much. You are doing the right thing by getting more professional help.
My mom had so many terrible afflictions. She wanted to stay home and have her kids come and help.
After she had a stroke and all her other medical conditions were properly evaluated at the hospital and rehab, she was able to get the professional in home care and assistance that the family could not provide. The social workers at these facilities can be very helpful in assisting you with a plan for your dad's care that is beneficial for both of you.
Yes, honey, your dad wants to watch you flourish in the world.
In the midst of a terrible family crisis years ago, I decided to see a therapist. Wow, all I could ask myself was "what was I waiting for?" The therapist helped me so much! All of my questions and worries evaporated. You dad needs special help; maybe you need your own help to make this "doable" for you.
Good luck! We will all be thinking of you and rooting for you!
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