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I was recently reported to Elder Protection Services by a home health agency (through medicare.) The social worker at the home health agency told me that if they suspected neglect, they were mandated to report it. My mother who has dementia picks herself and sometimes will open up a wound and it will bleed. The home health social worker said that if I was watching my mother that wouldn't happen. Well folks, it is impossible to watch someone all the time and live. You have to go to the bathroom and shower once in a while! (Besides, my mom is not in that kind of need. When she was in a nursing home they left her alone 90% of the time she was awake.) Anyway, the home health social worker said she would not be concerned and report me if I hired an outside caregiver for at least 6 hours a day. That would cost $3000 more a month. Maybe in her world that can happen but not in mine.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I "take my mother to bars." One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour beer and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I take my mother to bars. One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour been and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.