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My Dad had paid caregivers, 3-shifts, until he did the math and realized it was much cheaper moving into senior living. With the caregivers it was costing him $20k per month. With Assisted Living the cost was $5k-$7k per month. He sold his house and used his equity to pay for senior living. He loved the facility, being around people from his own age group.
Just as important, it means that you can feel confident about providing enough information to get useful responses. From your question, you probably are a family member, but the family details are quite important in understanding what’s happening.
- what state does your LO live in
- how old is this person
- does this person have a PoA
- does this person ever been tested for cognitive decline and memory impairment
- how do you know she can afford to pay for agency or privately hired aids?
Even without answers to the above questions, the answer is that all family members say no to doing the caregiving. You can inform her what her options are that do not include family hands-on care.
If competent, she can make her own choices.
As can you.
More info would help to understand your problem.