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As someone who was a pastor's wife for 20 years, I personally never expected tithes from those on fixed incomes of any sort, or those in the clutches of hardship. A free will offering is more than enough and in that way, a "mite" does cover it entirely. Even then, that mite can be whenever reasonable to individual in need.
In my view churches that prod and push those already in need to make "sacrifices unto the Lord", when it was difficult coming up with gas money to make it to service in the first place, are at fault. Would they rather have empty pews because the last 5 dollars was tithed and now no one can even come and hear the Word of God and are sitting at home hungry. Absurd.
God knows the heart and I am sure she has His grace through her faith. Someone mentioned having the minister comfort her. If there is one that truly will do that, and it helps great. Just be sure wherever she was tithing has the right views and will not burden her later. I divorced as a result of seeing abuse in such ways and more. The average minister should be very supportive and in fact seek to aid her. Sadly, too many feel entitled and forget to whom they were called to serve and aid.
One side thought. Do you get her mail? I ask because many church organizations send mailings to people to "contract" or "pledge" funds. If she ever signed one they will keep mailing her "notices", "reminder", or "encouragements" to trust and bless the household of faith, etc. Such notices would likely distress her and some churches know that pressure works. The same for text and email reminders that may chime on her devices. I put my foot down when auto-drafts entered the finance structure of religion. But its there and growing.
Thinking of you and grateful she has an advocate even in such spiritual matters. Heaven is not based on tithing. "Be of Good Cheer Mom"
God sees; He knows. His compassion for widows in their distress is HUGE. He is not going to then add any more weight upon her by expecting a tithe from her! He is a God of great compassion and mercy to those such as your mom.
I know that she might not comprehend all of that, but there must be a thought in her thinking of 'appeasing the wrath of an angry God' if she doesn't tithe something. So sad, as He is not angry. He does have wrath against unrighteousness ( wrath is a better word.... it 'flares His nostrils' Hebraically: as unrighteousness should flare our's too. )
Anyway back to your question... it is not unrighteous to say to mom, "God knows your desire is to please Him with tithing.... it is OK." and leave it at that. I would repeat that phrase to her whenever the subject comes up.
If she insists, then indeed - the widow's mite ( smallest coin back then ) is greater in God's sight than any huge amount others may give out of their abundance. It need NOT be '10%' for her. That would not be justice for her either, in God's sight.
May you receive His wisdom on what is pleasing in His sight... alone.
I haven't talked to him about it, but I would imagine he feels as I do, that tithing is just not appropriate or expected by God for a completely dependent person such as my dad (and your mom). Persons who are weak and vulnerable and needing all of their income or savings for their care, don't need to worry about tithing. I hope there is some way you can reassure your mom about this.
Thank you, for you response.
2) Render to Caesar what is Caesar's....it is gov't funds, not meant to give away, but meant for basic needs. Tithe by giving of oneself, one's heart to the Lord's work. Isn't there a retirement of tithing after age 90?
3) The christian church has a plan to support widows and orphans. It does not include taking their money from them...common sense. The Lord is merciful.
4) Tell Mom to be gracious and receive.
Yes, the tithe (10%) was instituted in the OT, along with other restrictions, like dietary laws that were kinda rescinded in the NT. However, it's not mentioned one way or the other in the NT; and the tithe of one's income--not of whatever one has left after other expenses--is still the rule in most Christian communities, whether observed or not.
Jesus taught us to pay our taxes--"render to Ceaser that which is Ceaser's"--and after that, ALL we have belongs to God. Not 10%, but 100%. Not just money, but life itself. We are merely put in charge of properly managing God's resources that have been entrusted to us, preferably in a way that glorifies God.
In this lady's case, thoughtful determination of how her meager income should be used to glorify God might mean using it all for her necessary personal care.
IMO, a church that doesn't even provide her with spiritual support during this time is probably not where her money will be best used to glorify God anyway.
In my own experience, I saw to it that my loved ones' regular church donations were presented to the pastor when she visited. When she visited after 6 weeks, I wrote a check for 6x their customary weekly amount, etc. No visits, no $. I also saw to it that 10% of their final estate went to their church, as was their desire.
However, my LO could well afford to do this without financial strain or reliance on others for financial support.
Furthermore, tithing is not a requirement to avoid hellfire. It's meant to be a minimum and grateful response to a loving Provider.
Is there a chance that she will need to apply for Medicaid funding for AL or NH in the next 5 years? You might need to consult an attorney, but my assumption is that titheing, like all charitable donations, would be looked upon as gifting and thus subject to penalty.
How would you feel about telling mom a "therapeutic fib" that the tithes have been "taken care of"?