By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Same old rote answer: "Mom, don't worry about me. I'll be fine," and "Yeah, I miss Fluffy, too," ought to do it.
Tell her what preparations you are making. For example, how will you manage financially living it that house alone? Is the mortgage paid off? Or do you plan to downsize, perhaps move into a townhouse? Will you be fine on the disability payments? Do you have other income? Give your mother specific details of how you will manage. That may help calm her.
If she is worried about your social life and that aspect of being alone, give her details about that, too. "Mom, I am so very grateful to have had this time to grow close to you. When you are gone, I will be very sad and I'll miss you, but I won't be lonely. I will be involved in Son's new family. And I will go back to my interest in XYZ and start attending meetings about that. I'll spend more time with my current friends, and also meet new people." And it may help Mom to feel good if you start expanding your social life a little right now, while she can see it.
As a mother I think I can relate to your Mom. "Oh dear. Jean has spent so much time and effort taking care of me, how will she get by when I am gone? Now her wonderful dog is gone, and her son is starting a new life, and I'll be leaving her too. I wish I hadn't taken up so much of her life! I feel so bad about leaving her in a bad situation!" At least I think that's how I would be feeling in that situation.
If I were facing my own death soon, it would give me great comfort to know that my children and grandchildren were in a good place in their lives and would be able to carry on. I don't think this deep motherly need goes away not matter how old the children.
Assure her of the specific things you will do to be able to live alone. Also be candid about your fears. Be open to her ideas of things you might do to prepare. Assure her that her examples and her nurturing has given you the strength you will need in your life. You are sorry that she needed care in her later years but you are very glad to have the privilege of providing that care.
Today she has noticed that the bird feeders I put up for her to enjoy has attracted beautiful bright yellow finches. She says that is her sign from our dog, so I hope this will ease it some for her. I tell her that is his way of coming back to see her.
I think she is worried about me since I am disabled and unable to work due to Lupus and Sjogrens and my son is thinking about getting married, into a ready made family. Nothing I can tell her so far has helped convince her I will be fine.
Thanks again for your thoughts and helpful ideas. One day I may adopt another fur baby but after the illness that this one went though I can't see another for quite a while. She can't hep it but she is just a natural worrier
Try to tell your Mom that you won't be left alone,your grown son is part of your household. You will know when the right time will be to bring in a new pet, nature has a way of bringing lost/stray pets to one's door step, out of the blue.