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A balloon, a card, a cupcake. A hug and kiss.
My mom was 78 a few weeks ago and is in hospice.
I took her a McDonald's happy meal, a balloon, and a stuffed fuzzy cat & dog.
She doesn't like the way sweet things taste anymore.
Her appetite is very small to non-existent, so she only had a bite of the burger & two tiny fries. Before, she would have eaten it all up with apple pie and want more.
As far as dying goes, you should talk to her doctor about ordering in Hospice services ASAP. You don't have to pay for that. They will help her and you through this next phase. They are very good at what they do, and it will help you not feel like you have to always have the perfect words. My mom gets an extra bath from hospice, pastoral care visits, and music therapy. The hospice nurse visits her 2-3 times a week.
I told my mom that if she's ready to go, it's OK. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I know she's tired and worn out, and if she feels like "going home", that is what she should do. She told the hospice pastor yesterday that she is ready to go. Now we just wait on her body to get the memo. If she continues not eating, it won't be a long time.
Perhaps something very, very simple such as a lovely card with a vase of her favorite flowers, with sentiments of the love you share for her, how much she's influenced your life....something that will soothe her during her last days.
Are there any frienda you think she might want to see, or talk to?
I see in your profile reference to what people often discuss with a dying relative, i.e., that's it's all right for them to let go. Perhaps you could add that to a card as it's very, very difficult to say to someone in person.
It might be that that confirmation that it's okay to let go and pass on could be the best gift you could give her, as it would help her believe that you still love her, will miss her, but know that it's time to end the suffering. You'd be giving her your blessing to move toward a peaceful solution.
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