By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
The way you work around getting a resistant adult to move to a facility is to use "therapeutic fibs". This means traveling there to spend time with him before and after he transitions. It will be much easier if you go there.
The fib you tell him can be anything like: the well pump is broken so there's no water until they fix it and I've arranged a place for you to stay temporarily while this is happening (and you discretely shut off his water because he will check). The facilities have heard it all and will be happy to go along with whatever narrative you give him.
People his age mostly have bad memories of their LOs going into decrepit and smelly nursing homes. The ones today are often so much better, with social offerings and activities, much more social exposure, etc. But, this is a profound change for your Dad, so you may want to talk to his doctor about meds for mood, which will make it easier for him emotionally to deal with it.
Also, make sure you know he can afford a good facility (local to you would be preferable) and it accepts Medicaid.
Now, you KNOW your Dad. If you feel he would rather die in the snows of Colorado than go into care, and if you and he have discussed this, then at 81, quite honestly, I feel that's a choice. A human does not have to accept treatment nor care.
You however are POA. You have accepted that, and I assume are in some way doing it (financial management?). You are honesly beholden now to at least hire folks for him to check on him and I would say a.m. and p.m. check required whether of friend, neighbor, phone call.
I would travel now to dad and come to some conclusions of which way to go.
Surely it is clear to you that at the point your father is wandering the streets confused he must be evaluated and made safe. As to whether you get thrown in prison for not doing so? Unlikely. Your defense is that you discussed with your father, felt him safe enough, and it was his wish to stay home, and that he would rather have been eaten by cougars than gone into care. I doubt you would be imprisoned. I think that's not really the point now, is it? Isn't the point that you are aware as a son that your dad is alone and wandering the streets confused and should be in care?
I recommend a trip to your Dad ASAP and I wish you both the best whatever decisions you make together with the help of doctors and recommendations. Do your best to keep him from harm. That's what he asked of you in appointing you POA.
You have the power to place him MC, don't wait until it becomes an emergency, that is where the problems can come in for a POA, the question is always "Why wasn't this done before there was an issue you knew that dementia was present"?
Having a DPOA is not a pleasant situation as there are hard decisions that must be made.