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Anyway, I waited to date because I had wanted this child so desperately that I did not want to push her to the side for a man. I was afraid she would "get lost" while I was looking for a man, so I put her first. I love her to know end and she is now 21 and I am now wishing I had not waited. The older you get the more difficult it becomes. It is harder to find men and lets face it we get to looking older as well among other things and it is just not as easy as it would have been 20 years ago.
Now however I am the sole 24/7 caregiver for my Mom and I am wishing to God I had a boyfriend just to have someone to turn to for comfort, a hug, a get away, dinner, just someone to love. I am now 60 and I am fairly sure I will never meet anyone at this age. I makes me feel so sad to be here in this place knowing that I will probably be alone til the day I die. I do not know how a man would react to dating someone with a parent they care for. I think he would have to be very special to step into this situation.
I am going to say, be very careful, do not mention your daughter, yet, be very very careful, but do not do what I did and wait for 20 years.... Find love when you can and hopefully you will run into that special man. You never mentioned love, you only mentioned financial help, I hope you find love.
is of no use to anyone and just breeds resentment.
In situations where we are the one and only, no mate, nobody to help, etc.....you have to focus on one thing. I could care less I have no man in my life right now. Its for a reason. I am focused on my current situation which is my mom's health and needs. Trying to figure out what to do. Financially and with 24/7 help for her. I cannot focus on the fact that at 47, I do not have a husband or mate or anyone to help me with the task I am presented with and the finances involved. I am presented with a family issue that is serious. A relationship would be very hard to start with anyone when you have baggage. Tend to your family needs as you would want yourself tended to in the same situation then when its time, you will meet someone as a mate. Focus on what you would want if you were in your mothers situation.....and let fate happen for you when its time to meet someone that is right for you. You could end up in a bad relationship because of the need for financial support. Bad relationships are not fun. Been there done that with abuse. Best of luck with mom and you.
One warning - there are networks of guys who prey on women to get money, and they do this by trying to engage you emotionally. Check it out on the internet -google "dangers of online dating" or something like that. They want you to webcam, but never are able to webcam themselves. That is a huge red flag as is anyone who tries to rush you into anything. Some are very skilled at getting women's emotions aroused. After a while I came to recognize them. They can become quite nasty once you show that you know who they are.
If you want any reality checks, I am here! I think i saw it all! ;) It took many months before I found Gary, and he had been on over a year with no success. Good luck!
Regarding being alone. Personally, I like being alone, Loneliness however is not great. I have been lonelier in a bad relationship, than I ever was when actually alone. Something to thiink about. Develop friends of both sexes - then you will not be alone. A mate cannot fill all the gaps.
frannie - sorry about your experience - I rarely gave my number out - just wrote people using the site messaging, and set up an email account just for that purpose as well. When it came to meeting people I did so at a coffee shop and let my daughter know I was going in advance. I messaged my boyfriend for a month before we met. He did not have my phone number until I had met him, and felt comfortable with him. Others I messaged for that time or longer. You certainly have to protect yourself. If anyone is pressuring you to move faster than you are comfortable with, it is a red flag!
marissa -screening and weeding out is essential. If someone is interested in you, I think they will be sensitive to your situation, but I understand your concerns. By standing beside your mum they will know you are a family person. My boyfriend is one of 5 boys and is the caretaker (at a distance too) to his parents, so he understands the responsibilities involved and it very supportive.
Good luck and prayers to both of you. I am blessed to have met someone.
No I wouldn't wait and I didn't. I am in a different situation than you - looking after my mother at a distance. She is in assisted living. She has borderline personality disorder, and I could never have her live with me. She will be 100 in May. I am 74. and had been on my own for over 15 years. A few years ago, I decided I was ready for companionship, and started online dating and after about a year met a man I really like. We are planning for permanency. I would be very cautious about looking for someone in order to help you pay the bills. I met some one like that, and dropped the relationship.because he was not really honest with me. He wanted someone to support him. No one wants to be used. Companionship, and friendship is great, and then you work the other stuff out. Fortunately the man I am with now lives in my city, so we could meet fairly quickly face to face after meeting on line, but I don't think that is necessary. I would be very open about your situation - if a man likes you and you develop a relationship with him, I think you can overcome the problems together. Another thing I tell people who are thinking of online dating is don't be too worried about age differences, if you find a really good person. I was married to someone 16 years younger than me, and my boyfriend is over 13 years younger. Dating on line has its problems and you have to be careful to screen out men who are just looking for what they can get - even at my age! Good luck.