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My parent's POA's were "activated" after their MD and a second MD familiar with their situation signed off that they were no longer capable of making decisions for themselves. Dad was terminal and mostly asleep. Mom has dementia. The "activation" was simple. But the general durable POA and the POA for health care were completed long before they were needed, and done by their attorney.
We are struggling with this too. My mom, before dementia, said she didn't want an open casket funeral...she wanted to be cremated. We actually fought about this. I told her "no one in our family gets cremated!". She said if you won't honor my wishes, I will get someone else to handle my affairs. So I agreed to do what she wanted. Now fast forward 10 years..she now has dementia and is now telling me she doesn't want to be cremated and when I showed shock and asked why, she said she changed her mind. Do I abide by my moms wishes when she was in her right mind or now?
AND My 98 yr old MIL keeps changing her will. We have stopped telling her if we buy anything or go anywhere because she thinks you are "well off" and no longer need an inheritance. WTH! I know it's crazy.
Who has the POA, you or your brother? Does he have both durable and medical POA? Why don't you have the POA since you are the caregiver?
That and understanding the wording of the POA, even if it means seeing a lawyer is what you need to do.
As someone else has already advised, read your POA and ask for legal help if there's any legal language you don't understand.
She doesn't make any decisions about anything now. My brother has pretty much taken over. In a good and caring way.
Which brings up the crux of the issue. A POA doesn't give someone the ability to override the wishes of the grantor. A POA acts on the behalf of the grantor. If you want to go against your Dad's decisions you'll need to seek guardianship.