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Am I mistaken ? Or are you the person who has a bedbound mother in an SNF that you were trying to figure out how to get both your parents to Florida ?
If so what are the plans , with that ? Is Mom going to a facility, or are you taking her home to care for her ? Maybe more info would yield some ideas from folks here. Maybe not , idk .
Being a caregiver is the most thankless job ever.
I was assigned POA and didn't know it. I live out of state from my aunt. Knowing this, everything was expected of me to give. Blood, included.
I gave it up. I don't ever want those three words uttered to me again.
Are you planning on caring for Mom? My Mom was easy but caring for her was hard. My life was not my own. Every decision had to be made with Mom in mind. And as a person who likes order and everything in its place, Dementia was too unpredictable for me. Mom did very wellbinvan AL.
Best to try to get an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney because they specialize in this field. My parents POA and Will were older than dirt, and was not drawn up by an Elder Law Attorney.... it would have been a financial nightmare if they passed. I quickly got them in for new legal documents.
Is your Mom going back with you for a visit or to move in with you?
Thanks in advance for your help.
There are forms online that some utilize.
The problem is that the form may or may not cover all the nuances a visit with an attorney might suggest.
These could be important to your parents.
The forms can easily be changed out when the time is more appropriate and you would have these in the interim. A principal can change his or her agent at any time as long as they are competent.
Important is do they want you to be able to act for them at this time or would they want two doctors to say they were no longer competent to make their own decisions?
Are they competent now to sign the form? You list your mom as having Alzheimer’s. An attorney would be able to make a determination of whether your mom understands what she is doing.
Do you have siblings?
Do the parents each want the same agent (you) to be their attorney in fact? Do they have an alternate or perhaps two who are willing to take over should something happen to where you could no longer serve?
Who will look out for dad when you are not there? if your moms condition is advanced enough that dad needed help with her, you aren’t going to have time to take on two would be my concern.
Will your state accept a POA signed in Tennessee? Might be better to take mom to an attorney in your state to make sure she is competent enough to sign. No one can sign for her.
Do you understand the responsibility of being an agent for another? The fiduciary responsibilities? Do you know how to sign under the authority of a POA document removing yourself from financial responsibility? Is your name already on their bank accounts? Many banks won’t accept a POA that doesn’t meet their regulations.
These are a few of the things that come to mind. While having someone we trust to step up is important to each of us, this is a very heavy responsibility that people take on usually without having any idea of how it will affect their lives far reaching into the future.
Know that in some families you can sacrifice your own happiness for the good of the principal and be neither rewarded nor appreciated by the entire family. It is, in many regards, a thankless job.
I am not trying to dissuade you from taking the responsibility. Rather I am wanting you to know more about what you are doing. Think unprotected sex, marriage, big mortgage with an iffy job, divorce, any big step you may have made in the past on steroids.
If the main concern is to have it done for mom, I would see an attorney in your state.
I wish you luck.
I just want you to be sure this is what you want to do. Because it's a lot.
I'm curious at your moms health issues? And your parents age?