By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
In all honesty, we had nothing to talk about... in fact when I call my parents at night, even we have nothing to talk about except for the weather and listening to Dad talk about his college and work days [which I have heard many times over]. Mom is now hard of hearing so those conversations are only 30 seconds, which is sad.
Then a couple years ago while I was doing volunteer work, my desk mate and I started chatting about our parents... then we clicked, as she was dealing with her in-laws from the old country and the high drama of her sister-in-laws, etc. Now we both can't wait until Saturday morning rolls around so we can catch up with our *gossip* about the trials and tribulations of elders :)
Don't be too hard on your friends.
You are doing a very noble and loving thing for both your parents, and God will surely reward you greatly ... if not here, then THERE. The Old Testament specifically (in the book of Sirach) tells us to take care of our elderly parents, and not resent them for being old, needy and perhaps less than lucid mentally. Taking care of our elderly parents when they need us most certainly scores us points in God's eyes ... and He sees all. It can be isolating, depressing, and we feel that we've "checked out" of our own lives. But that only lasts for awhile. My elderly dad, whom we'd been caring for at our home, has just become seriously ill with COPD (brought to a crisis by pneumonia) this past winter, and it looks like he won't be coming home again -- his care regimen is too constant, and complex for us to handle here. His memory has diminished greatly. I've lost my "buddy" whom I would talk to constantly, take on daily errands, and have as my parental support and confidante. Our parents are a gift to us in their old age....let's look at them that way. And yes, friends, siblings and relatives skidaddle when we have an elder living with us. Who know why? Some are selfish, don't want to be bothered, and don't have a clue as to what goes into caring for them. But their day is coming. And their kids have their 'selfish' example to follow.
Last year, dad had a stroke and he's now bedridden. At that time, I thought, Now the family will help. I have begged, asked, threatened to leave, how my doc said that I am now a high risk for heart attack, threatened to commit suicide...No help -physically. I was promised that my adult nephew, his girlfriend and son will move in. Nothing.
This year, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I stopped talking to the family (all my siblings got the talk/email) about suicide. I had finalized the details - down to When, Where and How. I figured out how to do it where my body would be found, etc...I don't know...but I truly believe that God had helped me to find this site. (It never fails in the past years, that when I have decided to kill myself, friends would suddenly drop by...and I end up venting to them of my stress with caregiving.) I happened upon this site on a Friday. Three days later, I decided that I wanted to die. I remembered this site and how encouraging everyone was, so I got on and posted. It was the people on this site that helped pull me out from the deep dark tunnel where I thought I had nowhere to go but death. Now, in turn, I try to help others like me who needs encouragement.
rioblu - I have 7 sisters and brothers. 6 of those makes much more money than I do! They get to travel every year! But...sigh...just because a person have a large family does NOT mean they will help!
Oh...if you do ask them for help, they will do it one time and then after that, you can't find them easily. (In other words, they will avoid you...fam does that all the time.) I have friends who think it's easy for me to find someone to "babysit" parents so that I can come to their function, etc...And I do my best to avoid them!!
My "so called" friends lost a mother about 2. Years ago. I was there for them and her even while taking care of my mom.
We are still friends, but I see them in a different light.