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My best wishes out to you and I hope that this distress is over for her sooner rather than later. And I am so sorry for all you all are suffering.
An LO of mine became seriously Ill at home and refused intervention until she could no longer be safely hospitalized. When finally admitted “for tests” she was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic and liver cancer.
A social worker (death counselor?) at the hospital INSISTED that her death be discussed with her and vigorously attempted, and ultimately succeeded, in getting to her to do it.
Previous to the social worker’s visit, LO had been avidly following her favorite baseball team to the World Series. Immediately following the SW’s pious intrusion she told us to take her radio home, and subsequently died without enjoying her team’s victory.
Your mother’s protection may be more important at this point than her “right to know”. However this plays out, know that you have been operating with her ultimate “best interests’ at heart.