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Let her go into a "care home" so she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you and the rest of your family can get on with living and enjoying your lives. It will be a win win for all involved.
Their is no awful problem, you are trying to create one.
Do as she asks, let her go, focus on your family, husband, children, grands, that is what you should be doing in the first place.
Time for the both of you to move on.
Let go of your own need to feel useful and needed by having your mother in your home. Help her make the move that will give all of you more independence.
Why do you feel you can't let mom go to a care home?
Is she considering Assisted Living?
Has she had a "needs assessment" from the local Area Agency on Aging so that you know what sort of facility to look for? That is often the best first step.
Even if she goes to facility you still will.
Caring is not just keeping parents or partners at home.
My husband although unlikely for dementia to show up but motor skills diminishing with Parkinson’s he will likely in few years or even months need help I cannot provide physically. Going to live in facility will be beneficial for him, I cannot provide 24/7 care, exercise, recreational activities and medical assistance. And he agrees 100%.
We need to be realistic, put emotions aside.
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