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I'm starting to hate it to be frank about it. I'm a paid caregiver. I'm sick of clients baiting me into personal conversations about how long I've worked and etc. Especially ones who have some sort of motive for getting information out of me and using this against me later on.

These people I'm seeing are strange. Years ago, I went into a job and did it. I did not get personal or was asked a lot of questions about myself. Clients knew I was there to care for them and allowed me to do a job. Now I'm seeing these clients want to have long conversations about their lives and problems. I feel like I'm being used as a sounding board instead of a home health aide. I want to get on with the work and maybe chit chat with them later on and keeping personal conversations at bay or not at all.

I need boundaries. I'm sick of people looking for me to be a friend and a therapist later to be met with lies and falsities being spread about me. I've witnessed a couple of them going back to the agency and lying. These are mental health cases, dementia clients along with needing personal care. I hate the agency in all due honesty that allows this type of behavior that later try to gaslight you and make you go back to these terrible clients.

Boundaries are needed in this field of work.

If any of you have some feedback on how to deal with this, you can send me a private message or hit me up here.

All I know is that I am quickly approaching burnout.
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Scampie1 Oct 2023
Thanks Bounce. What is even worse is that it is time to recertify for HHA and CNA registrations and the DC Board of Nursing has been a real nightmare to deal with.
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Stupid mistakes causing big problems.

Either my sister or I do our parents laundry, not the NH. The bins are clearly marked. But some idiot put took their clothes for laundering and is missing. At first I thought it was only my mother’s stuff but it’s my father’s too.

I am leaving to go give hell to the laundry department. It is not a trivial problem even though it seems it.

I am under enough stress. I don’t need this.
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waytomisery Oct 2023
Put BIG signs on the wall above the laundry bins at eye level . I had bright pink signs on the wall next to the closet , on the closet door and on the wall inside the closet where the bin was. I even resorted to putting one above the headboard over my father’s head . It looked ridiculous over his head , but that seemed to be the one that worked .
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What bothers me the most? Half my family. They’re extreme bullies. Totally over the top.
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sounhappy Oct 2023
I know no one wants to trade families with me…
🙁

Can I pay some money, and then you’ll take them….?
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Those with Alzheimer's dementia only have a sense of self. Sadly this is part of the disease. I tell my husband I'm not angry at him, I'm angry at the disease.
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The person you love is pretty much "gone." Life became difficult when he no longer knew me or our children. I regret the times I was angry with him. He passed away several months ago. Treat your loved one with respect and try not to be angry. Once it's over, you do not want to have any regrets.
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2023
You’re right in saying that they are “gone.” Indeed, this is the most painful part of seeing someone age.
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I hate that it is all about HER. Her needs, her issues, her sadness. Even friends focus on her..she is 90…I am 73…I get tired and sore also.She was always depressive…always complained and now it is worse…Sadly ONE of us has to die for this end!
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Onthehill Feb 7, 2024
I hear you. My mom will be 90 and I’m 61. I threw my back out trying to scrape her off the ground after she threw a tantrum. She was always negative even more so now. Criticized me when I became a single mom, then as her filters shut down she revealed that she had a daughter out of wedlock and gave her up. She must have been projecting. She’s always threatening suicide. It’s like being on a merry go round that won’t stop.
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I'm a paid caregiver. What I hate most about this field of work is running into narcissists and liars. I had a recent incident where I got thrown under the bus by the client. Then over those last three weeks, I put up with all types of passive aggressive foolery to top things off. The agency knew about this person from her past performances. If she got an award for acting, she would get an academy award for this nonsense. Also, I'm sick of watching some of these people work the system.
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2023
I absolutely hate passive aggressive behavior in people!

I swear I would rather someone clearly speak their mind instead of dealing with them being ridiculous with passive aggressive behavior.

I can see how this would drive you nuts, Scampi. Take care of yourself and enjoy your time off when you have off days.
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The expectations , entitlement and selfish demands, not only of the LO you are looking after, but flying monkeys .

BIL is coming to visit my FIL in AL near us. It’s expected by my BIL, that we pick him up from the airport and drive him everywhere he wants to go . DH keeps telling him to rent a car . BIL complained to his mother ( ex wife to FIL ) . We visited MIL this past weekend and she gave us grief about it. According to MIL, we are tour guides on request and should be “gracious hosts and show him around “ , since BIL is coming to visit . How dare MIL get involved !!!!!

BIL is not coming to visit us ( never has in the 18 years we have lived here ). BIL is coming to visit his father in AL , and decided while he is here , he would visit some landmarks he wants to see nearby . BIL expects DH to use vacation days to drive him around . He just wants a free chauffeur and tour guide .

DH said No , he already used a bunch of vacation days last year to move FIL near us. No visitors are telling him what to do with his vacation days. DH says he’s not throwing parties or entertaining FIL’s visitors .
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2023
Let him Uber like many other travelers do. He doesn’t need a tour guide either. He can arrange these things for himself.

Y’all don’t need anything else to deal with. He only deals with things part time. You and hubby have been overseeing your FIL’s care for a long time.
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It sounds horrible, but I’m constantly thankful that I don’t really even like my mother. And haven’t since I was seven years old. The only reason I interact with her is that she knows I’m the strong and practical one of her kids, and I’ll get things done. When she doesn’t like what I have to say, she just hangs up on me, and that’s fine with me. So I don’t really stress about what happens to her day to day. She refuses outside help out and anxiety meds? Mmk, then she’ll fall in a quivering hysterical heap on the floor when she runs out of laundry detergent, whatever, not my problem. I think my brother is kind of heading that way, realizing that as much as he tries to please her, and do whatever she’s tells him to do (as he’s always done), it’s becoming impossible for him to work, and take care of his own house, and at the same time, be at her beck and call. He’s getting short with her, so she complains to me, and I side with my brother! This is all such a cautionary tale. I hope to never ever put my daughter through this. Not that she would really cater to my needs, I know that, so I have a realistic expectations going into this old age thing.
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I always felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop was the worst thing.

The anxiety that went along with caregiving was exhausting.

Lack of sleep may actually tie with experiencing anxiety. Most people can handle a night or two without sleep. When it happens night after night, it becomes too much to deal with.
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Horrible family members. Why was I born in this family?????? Anyone wanna trade places?
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Hothouseflower Oct 2023
LOL 😂
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The stress trying to get my mother on Medicaid and into LTC is destroying my relationship with my sister. She’s angry at me because I brought my husband with me when we met with the lawyer. This is because I am just plain scared and need his support. I’ve done other things which have angered her where she’s felt I overstepped boundaries. I guess I’ve been like a bull in a china closet. I e been trying to find out info so we know what needs to be done.

Ive tried to support my sister because I did not want all this to fall on her because she lives close by. I guess I feel guilty about that.

She is not answering my calls or texts anymore. I cannot keep stroking her fragile ego on top of everything else going on. I am ready to go back home and just not come back here anymore, ever.

My parents managed to destroy the family by failing to plan. There’s nothing left.
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waytomisery Oct 2023
Hothouse ,

Sorry . It is rough going . Mom
and Dad are not in their home anymore and they aren’t going back there . They are being cared for . If sis is POA let her handle the paperwork with the lawyer . Take a deep breath . I think you and sis need to stop visiting parents everyday . Let Mom settle in more . You both sound burnt . Take a day off or two a week .

Maybe you and sis should both take a break and just have a sisters lunch together one day and you both skip visiting parents that day . Sort of like playing hooky together . My sister and I did this on our shared birthday ( yes we have the same birthday but different years) . It helped to have a day to hang out just the two of us .
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I feel hopeless trying to help take care of my elderly father. I feel like this situation will never end and never get better. My dad doesn't cooperate with me and my mom. I have no life now.
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Hothouseflower Oct 2023
One day it will.
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Just wish I can manage my anxiety and nervousness better. Just frightened about the future these days. I am not in a good place.
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waytomisery Oct 2023
Hothouse,

Stand your ground . No one can force you to do the caregiving . I’m assuming your mother would not be able to get them to let her leave ( unsafe discharge) .
As far as your mother’s behavior and what she says to you …..
” Sorry you feel that way . You need to stay here for your safety , I have to go now .” Leave , hang up the phone .
I would not visit or call her everyday .
Don’t allow your mother to frighten or bully you . If you need to , go no contact .
When I put my mother in AL , I had to go no contact a few times for anywhere from 2-6 weeks at a time .
My mother used to like to sit right at the front door and watch people come and go . When I didn’t want her to see me but I was dropping off something for her , I would park , call the facility and they would send someone out to take the supplies ( usually Depends) from me and they would put them in Mom’s room without her even noticing .

I know it’s easier said than done to control the fear and anxiety . (((Hugs)))
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What bothers me the most is knowing I'll never get back these past two years of my life. That my own life - what's left of it - is on the back burner while I do everything my husband can't do for himself. His banking. His shopping. His laundry. His prescriptions. His meals. His paperwork. His cleaning. His appointments and home visits. And now I'm doing all his thinking for him. Making his decisions about whether he wants to wear this shirt or that one, or whether he wants chicken or beef for dinner because every question I ask is answered with, "Whichever." I'm living HIS life and taking care of my own daily tasks in whatever time is left over. But I'm certainly not living. Sometimes I feel like a robot programmed to put him first and forget that I even exist at all. And who will care if the robot fritzes out once he's finished with it?
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Hothouseflower Oct 2023
Wish there was something I could write that could cheer you up. I suggest getting some help in several times a week for a few hours so you can have some time to yourself. That might help. You are very depressed, and that is not good.
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I envy the first poster whose post appeared in 2014 to create this thread. In all likelihood she is done with her slog.
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BurntCaregiver Oct 2023
You never know. I know people who have been enslaved to the care needs of an elderly parent going on twenty years.

My mother has been in the decrepitude, neediness and actively dying since she was in her late 50's. She's 86 now.
The learned helplessness has pretty much been my entire life.

People can be in the caregiving chains for decades.
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Sure I get tired of being the one to make all the decisions, do the banking, shuttling my husband to appointments. Our daughter does help out doing cooking laundry and taking him out occasionally. Regardless, it's all fallen on me. I have my days having a pity party. Nothing is going to change the course of Alzheimer's. He spent years taking care of us, our daughter and me. It's our turn. He didn't ask for the state he's in. I didn't ask to be in this situation. He'd take care of me again if I needed it and he was in my shoes, but it didn't happen that way. I shed my tears silently when I go to bed or in the shower. Stop your fussing, you yourself are going to be there one day. Hopefully, your kids don't feel that way about you.
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Hothouseflower Oct 2023
I plan to spare my daughter hands on caregiving. I plan to take a one way trip to Switzerland to Dignitas.
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I think for me, it is waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for disaster to strike. I am waiting for that time, when I am forced to put her in a nursing home, but will face many obstacles to do that. I am only her POA, not her guardian, so she could refuse to go. I live in fear that some set of circumstances is going to force me to care for her 24 hours a day, when I absolutely do not want to do that. I really can’t. But it’s just the process of navigating it. All, when mother will probably clearly be in the throes of either hospital delirium, or her usual mental illness.
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Hothouseflower Sep 2023
what you wrote is precisely how I feel these days. Here’s hoping the worst case does not happen to either of us!
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Right now, just about everything. How I allow myself to be taken advantage of by these people and get pushed around. Last I heard slavery was abolished in 1865. Sorry folks for the rant.

I'm tired of people not following their care plans and trying to get you to work as a cheap housekeeper instead by moving furniture, cleaning under beds and driving your car in the ground.
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BurntCaregiver Oct 2023
@Scampie

If they don't want to follow their care plans, you can't force them.
Wait your shift out. If they want a fire to start, they can wait until you're sjift is over.
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I thought I was the only person with those thoughts...I noticed a long time ago that I seem to be here to run and get this or that for him, when we go shopping, I try to get him to make a list of all he wants for the trip to the store and tell him that I want to get it all done, so I am not running back out for some little thing he forgot... it never works, it's just that I am trying to keep his mind thinking, but ...anyway, he has dipped recently to where he is leaving water running more than ever, came home yesterday ,he was out front raking up debris from under the bushes, we talked a bit then I went into the house to find water running in the washtub at a good rate...luckily he had not put a stopper in it or there would have been water everywhere in our home....then there is the leaving on a burner that he forgets as he likes to "finish" drying the iron skillets that way...this has happend when I am home and notice the smell of it as it gets so hot...I am now afraid to go to the store or go visit a daughter for fear of what he could be doing or not doing...most people think he is just fine, he is 92.
I don't think he can be left alone much longer and I need a break once in awhile.
Anyone else have this going on?
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waytomisery Sep 2023
That is very common . I’m so sorry . But it is not safe to leave him alone anymore . Perhaps you can hire help to come or a volunteer come so you can get a break and get out of the house .
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Elaine ,
Rant whenever you want!
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This is my second rant because the other one was about my useless father-in-law. My MIL is in an assisted living facility. Where we live, AL's have a limit to how much care they are allowed to provide, so someone has to check in on her daily because she's just over the line of what they can legally do for her (for example, she can't really feed herself, and they legally aren't supposed to help her), and that falls to me because my husband (her son) is busy running a company.

My relationship with her was always one-sided. She loved me, and I couldn't stand her. When she was healthy, she basically moved into our apartment (she would "visit" for weeks at a time with no end date) before her son and I were even engaged. And because my husband was building his business, and was never home, she would pounce on me to chat about the random strangers she forced into conversation with her or to tell me the stories of her friends whom I never met and never would meet, as soon as I got home from work, which was the worst because I am an introvert, and I needed down time after working in a very high maintenance, high stress environment all day. She would make plans for my birthdays months before I even thought about what I wanted to do or even asking me first (I'm close to my family. I would rather have been with my family than her and my FIL). She went to my hairdresser and "somehow got the same haircut as me". She started shopping at my favorite clothing stores, and of course we "magically" ended up buying the same clothes. She developed a sound bite for me about who she thought I was, which was something she did for all her friends, and would repeat it to my friends and to strangers, which irked me the most because I grew up in a small town that was like living in a fishbowl, and I moved to the city to be whoever the hell I wanted to be on any given day. Also it irked me even more because it was the very narrow bit of who I was that I couldn't hide from her because she was like an invasive plant, and the more she got of me the more she would take from me (see examples above).

And all this is to say how painful it is for me to have to care for her like she's my mother (and I loved my mother but she's gone, and this woman is not and never has been a mother to me). And I resent the implication that she could ever have replaced my mother. My mother gave me wings, and this woman wanted to trap me just like she tried to trap her sons. So here I am taking care of her solely because I don't like to see someone suffering, but at the same time I hate her, and I hate constantly thinking about her and ever being in a situation like hers. I hate that she married and had kids with her useless, selfish, verbally abusive, husband. I hate that I have to take care of her, and that she thinks I see her as a mom. I hate that she tells me she loves me, and wants me to hold her clammy hand. And asks me to stay with her longer when I'd rather be out doing something for myself for a minute before I go pick up my son from school. And if you read this rant this far, I appreciate having a place where I can write all this down, so I can let it go, and not end up in a room next to hers some day because she is never going to die.
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Dupedwife Sep 2023
Why are YOU the one who has to take care of your MIL whom you hate? You said she has sons. Why aren’t her boys helping her or hiring someone to take care of her? I don’t understand why you are the one assigned to help her.
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MeDolly, I have the same problem in my and DH family . If some of these elderly didn’t take care of their parents , why do so many of them expect their children to take care of them ? My mother had no problem putting her mother in a facility ,( didn’t last long , my aunt came and picked her up and took her across country to live with her ) but my mother extracted a promise from me not to put her in one which I eventually had to break . My mother passed and my FIL now in AL , but they both expected their children to change their lives to revolve around their WANTS on their schedule . My FIL never took care of his parents , demands frequent dinners out to restaurants , for us to take him on vacations etc. They don’t want their lives to change . They want us to prop up their false independence . Sorry but things change . Is it because they didn’t take care of their parents that they don’t realize they are being demanding ? Or are the selfish ?
My FIL has this idea that we have to do what he wants to maintain his lifestyle . He is an entitled spoiled man .
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Might be a little off track, but, these caregivers who give up their life for a LO what are they thinking? Especially those who either move in with the LO or have them move in with them.

Just how are they planning for their retirement? LO's die, no job, no saving, nerves are shot, physically worn out and in some cases have nowhere to live.

IMO, the boomer generation has really gone off the deep end, helping both their children in adulthood and their parents and at the same depleting their retirement funds, there has been no balance established.

My parents from the "Silent Generation" did not take care of their parents, when we left home as young adults (for the most part) we were on our own, no revolving door policy.

My mother is 98 in AL, my step-mother is 85 in MC. My brother and I are their watchdogs, we do not finance their lodging and would never have either one of them living with us, we care, but we must protect ourselves as we are getting old as well!

This is what stands out to me!
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2023
@MeDolly

Forget the Boomer generation and all their problems. What about my generation?

Generation X. We're the 'sandwich' generation. We're stuck caring for demanding elders and often young children and even grandchildren while at the same time working full-time because we still have to earn.
The 'Boomers' retired at 65 and the women at 62. Us Gen X'ers will have to work until they nail our coffins shut.

Back in the 'Silent Generation' people did not live to the point where they required 24 hour care for years or decades at a time.
My friend's mother just turned 91. She has dementia and has been in LTC for 15 years. She's been completely invalid requiring total care for the last seven years.

Non-verbal. Can't even put food in her own mouth. Sits tied in a wheelchair during the day. Gets spoon-fed three bowls of mush a day, craps herself a few times, then gets put back in bed. That's been her life for the last seven years.

The eight years before that was a combination of my friend nearly driving herself to a nervous breakdown trying to care for her mother and all her "emergencies" along with having a young family and a job.
Then placement happened and she spent the next few years getting dozens of phone calls a day from her mother begging to go home. Or berating and threatening her. Or crying and panicking hyseterically every time she saw or talked to her.

Really, her mother's life was over about 20 years ago and if she was living in the 'Silent Generation' it would probably have ended around then too.
Instead, modern technology and medicine keeps people like this alive indefintely.

It's different times also when kids have to move back home. It was a lot easier to make a living when your generation left home than it has been for mine and the ones after mine.
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That people don't think about the future when they're older. They marry a narcissist who can't take care of himself let alone the two kids they eventually have. Instead of getting divorced and leaving him to figure his own stuff out, she still spends her time managing him after the kids are grown up and long gone. Then after all that she has a series of strokes and a UTI that leads to sepsis, and boom, the man who couldn't take of himself is now responsible for someone who can't do anything for herself. And he ends up practically starving her to death with his crazy internet diet concoctions dreamt up by Quora "experts" that deprive her of any fiber so she ends up constantly constipated, and he keeps her sitting in a room in darkness that smells horribly of urine because "she said no when I asked her if she wanted the shutters and the window open", until we step in and move her to a care facility, and her daughter-in-law starts feeding her real food, and she regains all the weight she lost along with some cognitive reasoning, all while her husband sits at home hoarding junk he finds on NextDoor, and whining about how everything bad is happening to him.


So the lesson here is don't stay with someone who can't take care of themselves because some day they will likely be in charge of taking care of you after sucking all your energy dry, and they will never find the strength in themselves to do for you what you've been doing for them all those years.
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The bowel movements without a doubt. With dementia my mother is wondering what’s that? So she gets it on one hand mostly, under the nails then wherever that hand goes the bm smears. In her hair, on her legs, the pillow case, blanket. It used to be mentally horrific for me. Now I just get it cleaned up asap to put it behind me. She can’t help it. I had to overcome it but it’s still the worst part of caregiving for me. I’d still take her worst day of bm just to give her the best care in the last phase of her life as I can.
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Self-doubt. I am making all the tough calls in my mother's care, doing what I think is in her best interest and what she would want, but she is miserable. I am always wondering if my decisions are the right ones.
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For a couple of reasons, I’ve never been a caregiver. But, I’ve seen caregiving happen and there are some things I’m seeing, that I don’t like.

The main thing I’ve seen, is entitlement. If we live long enough, we age. That’s a given. But, it seems as if there are aging people who aren’t aware of this and, when they become aware, sometimes, they’d like to have free, private, 24 hour care, with a smile, from a person who is still working. While I know many people, indeed, do this, for an aging loved one, I don’t tolerate entitlement. But, I can see that there are aging people who feel they “assign” people, when it’s an appreciative ask. It is the potential caregiver, that makes the decision, including what they are able and willing to do. It is not, or at least should not, be slavery. I find it incredible that people who may have retired early, without a medical or financial plan, seem to become immediately and entirely “unaware” of other people working and pursuing their own lives. That they almost wonder where people are and what they’re doing — they’re at work.

There appears to be butter indignation, when they’re told no. Some of them, will do nothing to attempt to mitigate their circumstances and, instead, may worsen them. They may not actually want use of public resources available to them, because they feel they “decided” the burden would be placed upon a singular person. In addition, sometimes, their family’s are apart of this frame of thought. They may have that aging relative move to an apartment complex, where they “choose” a neighbor, who they feel would be suitable to provide free care, so they don’t have to. They remain hidden, until their relative passes and appear, when it’s time to read the Will. Only those who understand the dynamic, are able to avoid it. But it isn’t without pressure, coming from other neighbors, who also, willfully don’t know any better.

It is important, if/when it can be afforded, for a person to obtain long term care. It’s also important to note simply feel you can retire early, without doing math. As I’ve recently witnessed, a neighbor of mine did both. Knew she was going to become ill, retired early, without enough savings to qualify to do so, even adopted 2 thoroughbred dogs for thousands of dollars. When I spoke with her, 4 months ago, she told me she would soon be leaving (evicted), because she’s running out of retirement. Her family wasn’t helping her, but they all seemed to think taking care of her affairs, was to usurp my life. She died a week ago. Sadly, lucky for her as, she was probably weeks away, from becoming a very sick, very homeless woman, while heading into winter. Pretty sure there are a few people, who think primitively and think all of that was my fault. Good thing it doesn’t matter to me.
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imout01 Sep 2023
I am also glad that I did not offer caregiving to my neighbor, despite her pressuring me to do so. Because, now that I’ve had to deal with my mother and sister in probate and I’m still pursuing my career, what priority would this woman think she’d have been? I can’t handle these things and be at someone’s beck and call, without ruining my own health, just because she decided her early retirement should be calm, happy, and peaceful. I’m not an appliance.
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I just read a comment on this thread: "...Caregiving is stressful, venting. It’s hard not to become overwhelmed. Still, please make time for yourself to find joy in your life." It amazes - and annoys me when outsiders say "...make time for yourself; take a break; etc. The best one is "Just find help. Make a few phone calls and hire someone to fill in for you." The time I would spend calling around for backup is consumed by immediate needs.
I've been told - by friends and healthcare professionals - "Let me know and I can help you." Ummm, OK - so when my hubby is incontinent overnight and I find out in the morning, I can say "Just sit in your filth until I can find someone who can drop everything and come here RIGHT NOW".
(mic drop!)
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Hothouseflower Sep 2023
If it is important to you to get the help you need, you will have to make time to do what needs to be done to accomplish this. No it is not easy. There are posters here who have it as hard or harder than you and they do manage to do this. Don't give up.
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My husband has Alzheimers, Parkinson's and deficits from a stroke. We live 3000 mi from his few relatives (1 son, 2 sisters). They do not appear to care at all about his status. They will call on the "obligatory occasions" - Xmas, birthday... They have not laid eyes on him in over 20 years but are unbelievably critical of anything / everything / how I take care of him...to the point of calling Adult protective services in our state because they saw a recent picture of him (289lb when we moved / 218lb 20 years later) so OBVIOUSLY I am neglecting him, starving him and abusing him! There has never been an offer of help (financially or in person), or even an acknowledgement of how I am handling it all solo and how well he is doing.
And unfortunately it is all solo because there are nowhere near enough elder care resources in our area. He had been in a subacute post-rehab unit for 2 weeks when COVID struck in 2020. He needed a full-time advocate to make sure he got basic care - and food! So when the facility blocked all visitors I had to get him out of there and have been responsible ever since.

I feel really bad for elders who do not have an advocate!

Thank you for letting me vent...
And edit - he is 81 yo; I am 72 yo -
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