By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I waited to place my mom when I thought she did not know me. It was easier on me. I cannot imagine the heartache of making that decision for a spouse, However, in retrospect, I think my mom would have adjusted better had she been a little more clear headed. She would have made friends easier and enjoyed the activities more. I waited too long. Just a thought. I wish you the best is this difficult journey.
My husband has a condition similar to Parkinsons plus depression. It's getting harder for him to leave our apartment (he uses a wheelchair once we're out) and I know we're going to have to move into a more ADA-accommodating place soon. However, neither of us want to* and it's manageable for now. But I'm afraid that he'll end up in the hospital again after a fall and won't be able to come home unless we move, so I'm searching.
He says whatever I decide is fine, but I've been The Responsible One my entire life. It'd be nice to really share the burden, but he just can't. It's exhausting. Fortunately, I work remotely so at least I'm here when he needs me.
[*I've long joked that instead of moving everything, I'll just pile it in the front yard and light a match. Not so funny any more....]
Longterm - We need to fight to get state agencies to prevent burnouts by sharing the burden of care for elders and children and not leaving it all to family caregivers to deal with.
But you are a daughter? With endless love, patience & time to spare!
You must provide all the entertainment for for your Mother.
You must strive meet her every need. To do every task she wishes. To ensure she is happy everyday & never bored.
Yes?
PS I HOPE you are screaming out a loud NO. I DO NOT! as you punch a pillow.
If not, try it!!
Stick with us , will help ya figure this out. Life isn't perfect, but much better when I realized I don't have to do it all!
They acted insulted and focused on each other's facial expressions more than my explanation suggestions and problem solving. Still they act as if I've never voiced my concern. When they come to help me they hurry as if they need to be anywhere other than with me.
I've sat down and told them exactly how their actions and lack of make me feel. They act like they're listening and then they think that after our talk all is better. I tell them No it's not. Once I see that you have heard me and are making the needed changes then I'll start to feel better. Then when those changes permanently take place of the problems then and only then I'll feel comfortable. So far my words fall on deaf.ears and the answers I get are YaYaYa yes yes I understand as they quickly busy themselves picking up or straightening up shelves Then they hurry out my door with a quick ARE you good? And before I can answer they are gone.
My disability is new. Being dependent on others for everything is new. Not living alone is new. I hate it here. I dislike being old but I really hate being old and broken and all alone in a house full of people. I'm stuck here and I don't want to anger those who help me transfer to the commode etc.
So not being heard not being fed not being treated as a human being is what I dislike most about caregivers.
I need help. That won't happen anytime soon. Today 3 meals were served to me today I ate only one and that was at 7:30 am. It's 10:27 pm and I'm hungry.
That conversation in the shower was a back handed compliment designed to manipulate you to keep you in servitude .
But it’s nearly over for me. Just have dad now and thankfully he is a lot less demanding. Just give him a jelly donut every day and he’s happy. He is just a nice person.
Well, after preparing my home for mother’s arrival- adding a half bath and giving her my bedroom - it is all hers while I sleep on a twin bed and bunk with my treadmill - not a word of thanks. Not a word of “it looking homey and comfortable” - I can only ASSume these things because she sleeps quite well in there!
Well my home is 8 hours north of her so now - after reading all of your advice on here I will now take it and run!
I'm taking her back to her home in 2 weeks- going to her lawyer- either spelling out a plan for her at home or AL.
I’m taking my life back. I have spent almost 2 years in this dysfunctional mentally stressed state in her home while I have other people taking care of my home.
No vacation - no appreciation- I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
When they don’t get POA in order and expect a relative to pick up the fallen house of cards .
As the sole POA and decision-maker for my Dad, I would appreciate family asking how I am doing, instead of asking me intrusive questions about finances or how I made decisions in the past. Nobody helped me or even offered emotional comfort when I really could have been helped out with just some kindness and encouragement.
I miss the freedom of not always being worried about everything, of not feeling sick with anxiety.
Sometimes, like now I feel there is no way out, no me, I don't exist except to take care of Mom..and my Dad's wants and needs. He is constantly taking his financial stress out on Me, almost blaming me...for State Farm dragging their feet for Mom's $9,000 left of her (2 yr) plan. I am fried. Caregivered out. Compassion fatigue.
Siblings don't help, honestly the boys can't or won't because "it's too hard seeing Mom like that".
They are in a long term care facility - I love my Mom more than anyone on this earth. And I get upset, angry, lose patience. It's never ending. I must start to not be there 6 times a week. And stop doing their laundry, showering Mom, cleaning and shopping! Ranting, I know. Been a rough week as I'm crying typing this. Thank you, everyone, here for being so authentic and wise and straightforward.
That’s when you say …..
“ Good idea ! let me know what day you are coming to help with that “. 🤔😄
There suggestions are just plan horrible, and sometimes down right stupid.
Like I'll say moms grumpy, I get the suggestions, take her out for lunch.
Oh great idea for a 88 yr old with a degenerative spine. 😂