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I would think that there would need to be a shortage of assets to allow them access to a funding source from a governmental and/or privacy agency (i.e., the pension fund).
I think a trust is an excellent idea.
What they are afraid of is that Mom's money will be spent and she will have to apply for medicaid which pays a lot less than private pay.
Maybe a lawyer could put the money into some kind of trust that is only to be used to pay Mom's bills. If her money runs out the house of course will have to be turned into money for her care.
I certainly would not allow the nursing home to take control of Mom's money. You can't trust anyone these days. By all means they can run a credit report and request proof of funds just as you have to provide if you make an offer to purchase a house with cash.
Were you planning to spend some of your own money for Mom's care?
Are they advising they're going to get a credit report as well? One of the private pay private duty companies I contacted for home care advised me they intended to do that, and I balked. I understand their concern but I'm not opening the account books for them.
You seem pretty savvy, so I'd also draft a nondisclosure agreement binding them to confidentiality, and include some onerous provisions for breach of confidentiality. Since you've already contacted an attorney he/she might do that for you. If they know an attorney is involved, they should be alerted that you're not going to just provide them all the information they want, let alone confiscate her SS and lien the home.
Let them know that you're not just going to turn over all that personal information.
Is your mother at this facility now? If so, how long has she been there, or is she just entering it and this is a pre-requisite condition?
Nursing homes don't/won't just go on your say so, so I do not see where it will hurt you to comply, as long as you know that there is sufficient monies to be had, as long as she is going to be a resident there.
It may be in your best interest, to go along in the event that you do need to get her onto Medicaid at some point, as you shouldn't be responsible to pay out of your own pocket, unless you wish to.
Well, that is my take on it anyways! Good luck!
of people in a nursing home are on Medicaid so they're used to that.
My Mom was in a nursing home for awhile, and she was self-pay, but the monthly cost was very expensive, $12k per month, yes per month. Not too many people can afford that. The cost can vary from area to area.
Whatever you do, do NOT use your own money. You need that money for your own retirement and later down the road if your need to move into Independent Living, Assisted Living, or a Nursing Home.