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You really have no reasonable way to know what she’s thinking, given that the damage to her brain increase day to day.
I’m not sure why “doctors and counselors” would attempt to “convince” a patient with dementia of anything, least of all
something that has been said to her for 3 years!
The reality of her situation is that no matter what she says, those of you who LOVE HER and are RESPONSIBLE FOR HER CARE need to find a new lifestyle for her that will serve her in keeping her safe, while ALSO allow YOU to find a life that will be healthy and nourishing for you.
There really isn’t any other choice. She isn’t “irrational”- she no longer HAS the capacity for rational thought.
For me, a beautiful Memory Care facility with 3 miles of my house was the BEST CHOICE. Would I have preferred to have kept her home, or had her live with me?
ABSOLUTELY. My rational thinking prevailed, and the MC facility proved a haven for her.
Covid is and was a disaster, but slowly we are emerging from some of its terrible effects as well.
Trust yourself to make decisions from your heart, always ALWAYS based on what you head is telling you.
If she can only be safely cared for and can only afford MC or care in your home, you need to make the decision and tell her that this is the plan.
"That's not one of the choices, mom". "The doctors say that you can't live alone any longer". " Now it's time to move to a senior apartment".
Yes, she may be upset. The fact that she isn't at home can't be helped, can it?
As PoA you are now operating in your mother's best interest. Do not feel guilty that she doesn't like what you're doing. She can't process it and that's not your fault. Just keep doing your best while making it easiest on the both of you. Blessings!