By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I do recall when my LO was in the phase of being so very difficult. She also had hoarding certain things, incessantly repeating things, crying, worrying, obsessing over her cat and she also loved to tape things on the walls. Eventually, those traits left her, however, they are replaced with other issues, like loss of mobility (wheelchair), incontinence, loss of speech, etc. So, when one thing leaves, a more dire issue replaces it. I hate to sound negative.
One of the things that helped my LO the most, was medication for anxiety and depression. It was like a miracle for her. It helped with her overall anxiety and obessions and totally stopped the frequent crying. I'd explore medications with his doctor and if possible, ask for a referral to a geriatric psychiatrist. Sometimes, it takes time to get the right med or combination of meds. My LO took a daily med that did not make her drowsy at all.
I'd also try to get respite time to take time for yourself. Caregiving by yourself is very stressful and may really impact your heath. Try to get help.
My mom also makes up wild stories, which have found best not to dispute her or argue.
She tells me my two brothers are pilots and cardiologists and fly all over the world helping others. They also "fixed" my deceased brother's heart (he died when he was 18 in an accident). She says he is not a pastor somewhere.
My mom says that Van Gogh painted her portrait and it hangs in a museum.
She has lots of stories, and I just tell her they are very interesting. We actually laugh a lot.
My mom also had behavior issues, some very distressing and embarrassing to family to witness. I found that she was experiencing a lot of anxiety, and also did not understand what was happening to her. She was living with a son and his wife at the time. The wife developed cancer and could not take care of my mom, and my mom was very distressed and anxious about her daughter-in-law, who she loved dearly. For both of their sakes, I moved my mom to an elder care foster home. Her anxiety improved and her behavior problems resolved.
If you decide that you can no longer care for your husband, enlist the help of a senior living specialist to help you find the right place. If your husband is a veteran, he also may qualify for certain benefits which will help pay for his care.
If all he’s doing is rearranging pictures, he’s not endangering himself or anyone else other than your interior decorating. Keep boxes handy for his hoarding, pack it up and put it in the garage or basement. If he doesn’t ask where it is after a few days, dump it.
If he still has many clear-minded days, chances are he knows what’s happening to him. It’s scary and emasculating. And unfortunately, you are readily available for his outbursts. Don’t engage. Leave the room.
And do take time for yourself.