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It is hard to let strangers into your home to take care of a loved one, but you might need to do that. As “Geaton777” stated “if you want a break from her yet you don't want strangers in your home, you can't have it both ways so make up your mind.”
Website: https://vda.virginia.gov/
The Virginia Division for the Aging is now called The Office for Aging Services of the Division for Community Living, .
Virginia families who care for a loved one with disabilities or chronic conditions can now apply for up to $400 reimbursement to get help taking a break from those duties, under a "limited respite care voucher program" from DARS.
Website: https://vda.virginia.gov/vlrv.htm
The Virginia Lifespan Respite Voucher Program (VLRVP) provides reimbursement vouchers to Virginia caregivers who resides full-time, in the same household as the person receiving care, for the cost of temporary, short-term respite care provided to individuals, of any age, with a documented disability or special need.
Website: https://vda.virginia.gov/vcc.htm
Virginia Caregiver Coalition (Our members include family caregivers, disability and aging community agency staff, state agency employees, and university and independent researchers.)
Website: https://www.vda.virginia.gov/familycaregiversupport.htm
National Family Caregiver Support Program (NFCSP)provides a multifaceted support system that helps families sustain their efforts to care for an older individual or child or a relative with severe disabilities.
I realize that none of these websites help to get your Mom into a long term care facility, but at least, they offer you some respite from taking care of your Mom. As long as you refuse to let strangers into your home and insist on being the only person taking care of your Mom, you are going to feel frustrated, upset, angry and burnt out. It sounds like your Mom is going to be living with you for some time to come, so please use the resources available to you. Allow strangers to take care of your Mom before you take your frustration and anger out on your Mom and physically hurt your Mom.
{{{HUGS}}}
I realize there are waiting lists for Medicaid rooms so I feel for your situation with burnout. But if you want a break from her yet you don't want strangers in your home, you can't have it both ways so make up your mind. Call social services and see what help they may be able to give you. Do you belong to a church, or place of worship? Call churches to see if any of them can help you, either financially (even for 1 month) or with some in-home help. Try to make tiny baby steps of progress every day, by calling and getting info. Hang in there!
What you are doing is forcing their hand to place her (even temporarily). The hospital Social Worker will get involved. She will be the one to find housing for her. What ever you do DON’T take her back with you!!!!!! Refuse to take her, even for a day. Once she is back with you, she’ll be YOUR responsibility again.
It’s so sad to have to do it this way but I’m afraid that there aren’t many other options.
Good luck.
There r senior apts that rent is based on income. I think they take a third. I guess you tried Office Of Aging to see about transportation.
Its true. If there is no money, u can't do much. Not sure if she hits the criteria for LTC with Medicaid paying for her care.
So sorry. It can't be easy.
Im more frustrated with the waiting lists. The only way she can get in is have a serious enough fall that sends her to rehab & from there go to LTC. They’ve got you either way. Mom can’t live on her own, she can barely get around, can’t get in & out of shower or able to cook for herself