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Give LLMedico a call and discuss your needs. I know they carry tabbed products that may fit your needs. You can check the website and filter on tabbed incontinence diapers. They have several.
Their customer service reps are very knowledgeable and helped me decide which products to buy for my Dad.
For my Dad, I use a better quality adult pull-up like Abena or Wellness for daytime use to avoid accidental leaks; They carry an excellent diaper for overnight like Beyond XP5000 because they are very absorbent and he says he never feels the wetness.
I also recommend booster pads that extend the life of pull-ups (Wellness brand is the best booster I’ve found.)
join Reddit.com - their caregiver support groups great at providing helpful advice & product recommendations too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CaregiverSupport/s/5YbeXE599z
https://www.reddit.com/r/caregiving/s/TKQT8z6m6S
and adjusted the tightness with the tabs.
I would wholeheartedly recommend Depends, in one size up from the underwear that fits your mother best. Mom has sensitive skin and doesn't like things too tight. I don't know how many brands and sizes we tried but Depends worked best for her, didn't irritate her skin, and handled the large amount of urine she released, along with a washable pad under her while she sleeps (just in case).
Inside of the underwear, she has a pad. The Tena Sensitive Overnight or the Tena Sensitive Maximum absorbency.
The Tena sensitive brand is very soft and doesn't bother or scratch her. Being able to change the pad saves on the underwear.
If your mother is mostly continent, maybe just the pad inside of her regular underwear will work for her.
It was trial and error before we were able to find what works for her.
There are companies that make washable incontinence underwear that might fit better than disposable
Is the expectation that she put them on? Does she have help?
If she has dementia along with her incontinence then briefs might work better for her as they go on the same way as panties. With dementia she may struggle with making sense of the tabs by herself, since it's a 'new' task. I do think tabs are better if fecal incontinence starts, but that they're easier for the person when there's someone to assist.
These are a bit more expensive, but have a range of absorbencies. They're very soft. It looks like Parentgiving bought this company. You can order sample sizes for briefs or tab-sided.
https://www.parentgiving.com/products/dry-direct-super-overnight-underwear
Mom liked the Serenity brand in a size small. They weren’t too tight.
I bought Depends brand as well. They worked well too.
I suppose the tab type would be easier to adjust in the waist. I always bought the pull up style.
Don't drive yourself crazy. Buy a few different types of SMALL bags and ask mother which she prefers. Then go with those full time, even though the accidents aren't consistent. They will become consistent, trust me. And so will the complaining about the briefs. They all leave something to be desired because NOBODY wants to wear them! Ain't that the truth?