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The staff routinely offered toileting before meals , for the very reason that it takes time to toilet someone . And yes if everyone asked to go to the bathroom during a meal , people would be waiting and getting cold meals , and some have to be hand fed .
My mother would routinely use her call bell during a meal to go to the bathroom and then complain they took forever to come . The fact is had she gone 1/2 hour earlier when they offered there would be no problem. . This was a woman who I knew could always pee on demand . She admitted she “ wasn’t going to follow their routine “.
The fact of the matter is they don’t have a 1:1 private duty aide in SNF . It’s not perfect , but it is what it is .
You don’t know this woman’s story , maybe she was like my mother , uncooperative , controlling and manipulative , liked to come up with a reason to complain . Or maybe this woman asks to go to the bathroom every twenty minutes .
Incontinent residents are changed on schedule before meals .
One story involved a really nice lady, who after going back to her room (at the time) after having her shower, pooped on the floor.
The aid just said something along the lines of "Be careful, Sue pooped and it's on the floor"
As far as activities went, the biggest issue was one male resident being "kicked out" because he would get into arguments or want to fight.
Good times!!
We don't know if she does this all the time, if they asked her if she wanted to go before. We really have no clue the whole story.
If it was a sweet lady that never does that then that's just mean, abuse, probably not,
That my feeling, other may say different