By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Why not ask mom if she'd like you to go over there and pick her up in your car? Take her out of the nightmare you feel she's living in, and invite her to live with you? You don't mention that as an option.....but expect "an organization with a passion for the elderly" to care for her?
What sort of "organization that can find people who have a passion for the elderly and has a proven record of caring for them in their home" exists? Would that service also be free of charge? Such an organization would be called a family members home or an Assisted Living facility that's paid for with private funds, or with Medicaid if qualified and available.
If such an organization existed, and was free of charge to boot, I wouldn't have used up my folks life savings of about $400k to keep them in AL and Memory Care AL for 7 years!
You don't have to agree with your mother's wish to live with her granddaughter. SHE has to WANT to live there and not be deemed incompetent to make her own decisions. And if she is deemed incompetent at some point, then you'll need to arrange to place her in an appropriate facility according to her financial status and mental health status, IF you hold POA for her. If not, you have zero say in ANY of this!
I have another question -- how long has the granddaughter been your mother's paid caregiver?
I have no doubt what you are saying is true.
How long has your mother been living in this home, and is it hers or his or theirs?
What are your mother's underlying health conditions?
I am sorry for this distressing situation.
A couple of questions.
1. Does your mom have dementia?
2. Does your mom have a doctor that she sees regularly?
3. Who has POA for health and/or finances?
4. Has your mother been declared incompetent by a court?
5. Is granddaughter being paid by your mom or by Medicaid?
6. Is your mother unhappy with this situation?
If DHS/police/elder services shows up and asks your mom if anything is wrong ((and she hasn't been declared incompetent), and she says "no, everything is fine" then there really isn't much you can do.
Your mother is legally entitled to make poor choices
In your shoes, I would get in touch with (in writing, by certified mail) mom's doctor and explain what you've observed and ask for emergency medical intervention.
Unless you have HIPAA paperwork done, the doc can't talk to you, but s/he can and should take action.
Does your mother have a diagnosis of dementia, or is she able to make her own decisions? Has she expressed that she would like to leave her current living situation, and if she does so where will she go to live?
Have you called APS to have wellness check done on Mom? They will interview her separately from the family in most instances.
If your mother has a diagnosis of dementia and you feel she is in danger you can ask for police or fire department to do wellness and safety check. You can also consider applying for conservatorship if your mother has been judged incompetent in her own care decisions, but do know that a fight for guardianship may be very costly. If you wish to explore the latter, see an elder law attorney.
If your mother does not wish to leave her current living situation, and if your wishing out to governmental agencies does not work, then you are likely out of luck here, and your best path forward may be to try to make peace with all, offering help and respite, and I say this with an eye to "keeping your eye on things" and gathering any proof your mom is in danger.