By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
If the dad can't drive, do some limited shopping (certainly not on-demand) and/or set him up with delivery service. Most stores will do that now (for a small fee of course.) Medication can likely also be delivered.
If he can't properly clean/care for his home, provide him with information about home services. Cleaning, laundry, property care if it is a house, some personal care if needed, and any resources available to help defray the cost, etc. Give him that information and say these are his choices and leave it at that (and leave/hang up if he starts his nonsense!)
Otherwise, hands-off. If the man is combative for simple things, he won't be any better about granting any POAs or listening to suggestions. If they don't answer the phone, he can leave a message. Pick and chose any requests made in those messages - only take on the simplest tasks, if any at all. Refer back to the service information provided for anything else. Since he is still "competent", he can maintain his control over the services, not the kids!
My Dad was in Assisted Living because he needed caregivers to help him with daily tasks.
Only if/when he ends up in rehab or hospital might this have any bearing. Certainly you can refuse to take him in and mention he isn't safe at home, but I wouldn't hold my breath that it will result in any changes!
POA does not give you the responsibility you describe. A POA has to be assigned. Doesn't sound to me the man is incompetent. Even if he assigns someone POA they cannot force him to go anywhere. POAs usually are "springing" meaning the person has to be declared incompetent before it takes effect.
What you are describing is guardianship. And even then, the person has to be found incompetent.
Social services will get involved if they see a vulnerable elder with many comorbidies who is a frequent visitor to the ER.
Your children can't force their father into a placement.
I have a disabled nephew who has physical problems which limit his ability to walk distances. He used to ride a bike but now is too heavy to peddle it. I have been around and around with him. So have his doctor's. I oversee him to a point but he is capable of living on his own and make his own decisions. Do I worry, yes, but I cannot change him. At 70 I refuse to keep at him. It only stresses me out and he won't change. I don't need the stress. I have his POAs but I will never go for guardianship. If in the future he needs more care, the state will need to take over. I am getting too old to be responsible for anyone other than my DH.
Assuming that he has funds to pay for assisted living, they can provide him with facility information but I would not waste my time until he requests that.
But if he chooses to not do things, or not pay for services that is also his decision. eg if he can't/won't shop, clean, drive, this does not mean his adult kids have do it by default.
The adult kids get to decide to help (or not). They also decide how much help & when. Some call in morning & night, shop, cook etc. Others may give a daily phone call & drive to appointments. Others may only do social visits for birthdays & holidays. Every family differs.
It is Dad's responsobility to do or arrange his own help outside what is freely offered to him.