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Place a warm soaking wet towel folded up on the bench.
Buy a bench with holes and spray up through the holes.
If possible have mum hang onto hand holds and spray her bottom.
Get a bidet seat for the toilet.
I totally get where you are at. I'm really close to my momma and we often joke about how she wiped my bum when I was a baby and now i'm wiping hers. I'm sure at first, a couple of years ago it might've been uncomfortable for both of us, but now it's just like cleaning between her toes! No big deal. Now my Mom had to go to a rehab center 2 years ago after hip replacement, and all "privacy" went out the window. So she's okay with it. Recently she had a fall, was in hospital with a pad under her and the nurses taught me how to use the bedpan and change both her "pull ups" and pad on the bed. Now because she has digestive issues, I don't allow her to wipe her bum when I'm home to keep things sterile. My mom has a large shower with a wide chair that sits two legs in and two legs out. She sits down, facing me then turns towards the shower handles, then puts her feet in the shower while sitting. The caregivers do this as well with her. There are safety handles vertical along the shower and one horizontal under the shower head. We installed a shower head on a long "hose" and I stand behind her. When I'm done with her back, arms, armpits, chest, legs then she stands up. I give her the wash cloth soaped up and she cleans her pubic area and urinary area. I then use the cloth and wipe her bum going front to back. If I can see any visible poo, I'll use a medicated wipe (like a baby wipe we use after she poops on the toilet) first, then wash with soap and water. If your Mom is not able to stand long enough then I'd suggest having her lay on her side on the bed, with a pad under her use a bed pan with soap and water. It's a pain, but "diaper rash" or UTI can be very painful. I hope this helps. You can do it. Just think of all she did for you when you were young and vunerable. Remind her that it is a priviledge to care for her.
If your mother isn't able to stand and hold for long enough, there are also shower-proof commodes. You remove the bucket before the person sits down, then you have unrestricted access to the relevant areas which you can wash with the shower head. Dignified it isn't, but boy can you be thorough!
When it is your family member it wouldn't be all weird and you have to get a visual to ensure that the skin is healthy. So a bottle brush would not be beneficial.
If no grab bars, get a cheap aluminum walker and have her hold on to that while you do the above.
Putting a soapy, soaked hand towel for her to sit on while other parts are being washed can loosen things up and help make the process quicker when she is standing.
You can also give her a big hug and have her lean into you while you reach around and wash.
No matter what, always give a thorough rinse.
You can hire a bath aid to teach you how to accomplish this and to ensure that you have all the tools you need to make the bathing process easier.
You Dont Need Too Much. Make Sure & Rinse it Off Of Her Really. Really
Good. I Did Certifed Nurse Aid Work For 24 Years. We
Used Ít To Cut The Odor. Ít. Wont. Hurt. Her
Just Rinse Really Really Good
Good Luck.
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