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A person who cannot take care of themselves, can be a very sad and frustrating situation.
It can be confusing, and every emotion imaginable.
They will, at some point, need to be taken into custodial care.
You, or neighbors or friends, can call 911 to get "welfare checks" done, even weekly.
When you call to request a check, let them know the conditions that exist in the home she is in, and what she has stated to you:
---very depressed statements, and, might be considered suicidal.
---person who is a "danger to themselves or others",
can be taken in for evaluation, which leads to other care, if needed.
Officers sent to check on her, will find what you find:
--house full of trash, spoiled food, unclean, infestations, fire hazards, etc
and document that.
IF she acts out while they are there, or refuses entry, that also gets reported.
These visits and statements are then on record,
and can lead into having her put into protective custody for evaluation, then placed in an assisted living or nursing home, or an Alzheimers unit.
It is a tough situation.
Best thing is get her placed into a facility,
since taking her into your home would end up with your house looking like that, too.
IT sounds like she has some pretty deep depression going on though, and that she might be a danger to herself or others--if not directly, then indirectly, such as if she lights a fire, and burns the place down and injures herself or others in the process.
Please take care!
Please keep us posted!