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My Mom moved to my state when my first son was born. She lived with us briefly until she found a house (long story short she bought the house right next to ours). I'm glad she didn't live with us but she was close enough and my 3 sons are so close to their Nonna because she was there every day.
Is it possible for you to get an apartment close by? I'm 65 and in good health but I can't imagine caring for a 15-month old and being "on call" and therefore not having a life. Your daughter and SIL may think that you living with them is a good idea but once they lose their privacy, maybe they'll change their minds. And what if you change your mind about this arrangement -- you'll have no place to go for who knows how long.
Yes, you should be nervous about moving in with them. Find another living arrangement but do spend the time with your grandson because they grow up faster than your own kids.
If you are nervous about giving up your own space then I would not .
If you are willing to be the nanny, can you get your own apartment near them ? Perhaps your son and daughter in law pay your rent . You would be saving them a ton in childcare costs . Or were they going to pay you for giving up your free time ?
Why do they want you to live there 24/7?
How wonderful to be such a trusted Grandparent & child-carer! But... any fulltime caregiver can get burnt out. Either caring for children, adults with special needs, for elders.
Caregiving works best when it works for EVERYONE in the team.
How far is your apartment? Even if driving & arriving for *work* everyday (or say 3 days a week) may be hard - it would be so nice to *knock-off* & go home, back to your own space. Thoughts?
Being a Nanny is messy already. Normally a Nanny does it YOUR WAY, that is the way the parents dictate. I am thinking melding Granny with Nanny would be (for me anyway) a nightmare.
And "active and healthy"? Oh, yeah. YOU remember what being with a little one is, right?
You will be active for sure, and better be healthy.
Were it me and I was even going to consider it I would do it in my OWN home and they would bring and pick up the child daily. Otherwise you are 24/7.
I cannot, to be honest, imagine anyone even considering this. So this gets a big "no" vote from me. But your life is your own. My advice for sure, don't give up where you sleep. Because giving notice will be complicated by that.
Good luck.
Just because your son and daughter-in-law don't want to have to pay the high cost of childcare, doesn't mean that you should have to give up your life to save them money.
At 65, you've now earned the right to do what you want, if you want and when you want.
I know you love your grandson very much, but he and his care are not your responsibility.
So keep living and enjoying your life and visit your grandson when you have time, but I would not advise moving in with your son and family.
I was lucky, my DD lived 4 doors down. They dropped my grandson off in the morning and picked him up after work. I had my nights and weekends. My SIL also babysits her grands. She lives close enough to go to their house. She gets them up and ready for the day bringing them back to her house later where they are picked up. And we both charged our kids to do the care. My niece lost her babysitter. SIL was working at a job she did not like so a deal was made. Since my brother had retired and had Medicare SIL, 61, would need insurance if she quit her job. Niece pays for that and a little more. Me, I charged $100 a week and put the money in an acct. My DD can't save. I had him till 20 months and he went to Nursery School. When he was 5, they wanted to take him to Universal. The money I made was used for all of us to go.
I babysat both my grandsons. My oldest till he was 3. I think it made a special bond with both my grandsons.
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