By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
These often are the choices.
Because regardless of what your wife doesn't WANT, it is NEEDED. .
It is not possible or reasonable for you to do absolutely everything: all the housework, cooking (or pre-made meal heating) shopping.
Also, sometimes you will just need to go out alone. Just to get a haircut! Or meet up with a friend.
Unfortunately, with dementia, reasoning to understand all this goes.
Having a regular 'sitter' works for many people. Then you get a regular slot of time to go out, sit in your local cafe or park on a nice day. 'Self-care' they call it. It's important too.
One suggestion is to explain to her the help is for YOU.
That YOU want a cleaning person to mop & vac, change the bed linen. Then once they are IN, trust can hopefully be built on & more tasks added.
This has worked in my family.
I wish you luck & success.
I don't expect this to be easy, little in caregiving ever is.
I even tried a trial run of having a caregiver in their house. Mom was like a hornet, she didn't want another female in her house. And the caregiver told me that Mom was having bitter fights with my Dad about this situation. The caregivers lasted less than 3 days. Sadly I had to wait for a medical emergency with Mom [serious fall], hospitalization, rehab, and Mom eventually moving into Long Term Nursing.
This situation is not uncommon, many of us here had gone through the same problem. There is no fool proof answer.
Dkeilt, could you describe how the negotiations have gone so far? What's been said, and who has visited, and how has your wife responded?
I am also thinking that, at some point, the care of a blind and hard or hearing wife who has dementia may come to be too much for you to do at home? Have you given any thought at all to the eventual need for placement, or to your mind is that O-U-T, out?
I surely do wish you the best.
ing you the best and hoping to hear back from you.
Make the appointment for the agency to come and just don't tell her. Let them come in and do what they must. They may just be a Godsend for you and for her, so quit allowing her to rule the roost, when she can no longer.
You can do it!