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'Deserving to be kicked out of the house' - possibly justified too.
Your wife can be a big part of you doing well in the NH. She can visit, keep you in touch with the outside world, and monitor the care that you are getting to make sure that it's as good as possible. To make that work, it might help if you thanked her for her care at home, now that you may have some idea how much is involved for a whole team of people paid to work around the clock. Resenting your wife and the decision to place you, is unlikely to work in your favor.
Old age and infirmity is hard for all of us. Speak to your doctor about antidepressants to help you cope with yours. I wish you the best.
Phil, I am sorry this wasn't discussed with you. But I am wondering also if perhaps it was discussed, and you may not have a clear memory of it.
Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
What necessitates your being in care now?
Are there physical problems in mobility and getting around?
Have you become forgetful?
Whatever the circumstances, it is apparently your doctors and your care facility thinks that care is needed here. This was the case with my brother though he was good enough to go out and walk about the grounds, cut flowers, straighten up in his room, go for games and movies, and etc.
Can you tell us if you are in memory care or rather in Assisted Living?
Do you have your own room with some of your own things?
Is the food decent?
Have you made any friends?
I am wishing you the best. I am sorry for your circumstances. My brother's favorite thing said to me was this: "You know hon, it is a bit like when I was young man in the Army. I didn't much like it, but I make the best of it, and he DID".
Try the activities. There is usually at least chair yoga, which is a form of exercise. As far as meals, sit with those who have similar conversational ability. You’re not the only one in a nh who still has your capacity, so find a peer group.
How old are you and what do you suffer from.
If you can tell us how old you are and why you think you were transitioned to a facility, more info would be very helpful. More info about your wife would also help.
My own sister recently placed with dementia is feeling the same way since her son placed her . Only a few months ago she was aware of her cognitive issues getting worse and admitted she may have to go to a facility. Now she has no idea why she is there and texts everyday that she’s “ too young to be put away “ .
Adjusting to this change is hard for you .
Ask for an antidepressant . Try to remember that your medical problems are why you are there and your wife did not cause them .
Thinking through these questions might help you to decide to make the best of the situation now.
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