By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Shows how you can still be caring & loving yet realistic & practical too.
Trust me, dementia progresses to where you cannot care for him at home, and then you'd have to but him back in a home which would be far more traumatic for him. Dementia patients need consistency and familiar surroundings.
Talk to him in his world. If he thinks he's still treating patients, ask him about his cases. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, because he's talking about what's real to him. That adds reassurance for him if you go along with his version of reality.
Why does no one else want much to do with him? The “you’re just going to leave me to die” is a gullt tactic on his part. You had nothing to do with placing him there.
At what point were you given power of attorney?
With two children and a full-time job you would have to be off your rocker to attempt taking on the 24/7 care of your uncle. If he isn't happy where he is, or if you aren't happy with the quality of care, look for other options - but your family home can't be one of them.
Caring for someone in his condition requires skilled care. Are you planning to hire for this care, 24/7?
I don't think that you understand what this entails, read around this site, many have tried to do what you are considering and are physical & emotional wrecks.
Good Luck!
If the nursing home allows this, remember you will see different nurses/aids every 8 or 12 hours, as those employees go home to rest up for the next day shift. You will see how your Uncle is in the morning, if he is agreeable to use the bathroom, for getting dress, etc. Then you can witness how he is when eating. Then how he acts the rest of the morning until lunch time.
And how many times the Staff needs to take him to the bathroom. And how cooperative he is when it is time for his shower, and if it takes two Staff employees to shower him.
You get to see if your Uncle wanders at night, trying to get out of the facility. And how easy/hard it is to get him back into his bed. He may cooperate or he may become defensive. And how many bathroom breaks he needs. Or is he now in the Depend garment stage?
There is a lot to learn about dementia. It's like a person is going back in time and they become child like, but dealing with a 200 lb toddler won't be easy.
Just food for thought.
A *Care Trial* is the best dose of reality - that a heart of gold is not enough.
Tell the nursing home, you're taking him home for a week long visit.
By the way, you will be 100% responsible if anything happens to him.
Please report back after you try.
If OP has POA, what kind of POA is it? Durable? Medical? Both?
Does OP know how POA works? Is it activated?
How did the ex put him in a nursing home if she didn't have POA?
What happened to his half of the money from the home sale? If he's incompetent, how did she get away with selling the house?
Has OP talked to the administration of the nursing home and asked how his ex-wife was able to admit him? What did his doctors say about him being admitted?
OP needs to return and answer these questions, because this doesn't add up at all.