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But frankly she should be compensated for her sacrifice. Or grandparents’ money shoukd go toward their care in a facility.
Moms house was left to my brother. By the time she passed there was Medicaid and tax debts. We had it placed back into the estate. I then sold it and the liens were satisfied. Moms 3 children got 3k each. I then gave my 2 girls 1k each.
Are any of the other descendants involved in the care of this couple? It also depends on the level of dementia as to whether a Will can even be revised - it'll depend on the assessment of the lawyer anyway - to make sure that the couple are of right mind.
If I were you, I'd remain out of this. This woman - dealing with the emotional, mental and physical strain of taking care of two parents with dementia is heartbreakingly difficult on every level. Perhaps you should be thinking of how to support her rather than thinking about her parent's Will. It's really not appropriate.
The Aunt is now having "buyer's remorse" over the unpaid caregiving arrangement... if payment was never discussed at the onset then this is her problem. She will need to figure out how support a house.
If the grandparents bought her the house, I'm assuming the deed is in her name right now? Hopefully the grandparents won't need Medicaid within the next 5 years or else this purchase (which looks like "gifting" to Medicaid) may delay their qualifying for it.
The Aunt should consult with a reputable financial planner to figure out where this may all go and the impact of this decision.
Aunt may WELL be "house- rich" as it is called. House-rich means you own a home but you haven't enough income to maintain it, to hire in some help, to pay taxes and bills. This happens to many seniors as they pay off their homes, age, retire and get hit with inflation.
Aunt should see an attorney to make a care contract for shared living expenses, or she should place grandmother. I doubt there's a contract here that removes the house from her if she says she can no longer give grandma care.
That is to say, basically, to get care given, I kind of think that Aunt SHOULD get most of the money. What's the REST OF THE FAMILY (including your stepson) doing to HELP? If you tell me "lots" I may feel a bit different.