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It is your home as well and caregiving is difficult as is and living in those conditions as I assume not ideal it must be hard and dangerous even.
it is very difficult to deal with this issue and dementia must make it more complicated.
Do you have any family who can take her in so you can do a clean out? This would be less upsetting than going to a facility.
look into resources in your state and do call the fire department. Ours was worthless because they wouldn't reinspect but yours may do a better job following up if the hoarding is a fire hazard
Secondly, if things go well in the facility you choose for respite for your wife, consider leaving her there long term if/when the time comes that her care becomes unmanageable for you at home. And/or consider placing her there on a regular basis for respite every so often so YOU can have a vacation from caregiving b/c it's too much for you to do 24/7 on an ongoing basis. YOU deserve a break on a regular basis.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything.
thanks for the meaningful words in ur answer
Go thru and get anything that you consider trash. Now, all you have is stuff you want to keep or give away. Get the give away stuff together and donate it to thrift stores. Churches for future yard sales. And like said, don't allow her to hoard again you can get rid of stuff while she is sleeping.
You may find she does well in respite care. If so, if you can afford it, leave her there. Make sure you see an elder lawyer about splitting assets so all your money does not go for just her care.
Please don't make the mistake so many caregivers do when it comes to providing care for someone with dementia.
The caregiver is the one in control not the person with dementia being cared for. Do not allow them to make any decision other than what they may want for lunch. Your wife has dementia. You are in charge. Get the house cleaned. If she throws a tantrum over it, let her. You do not have to live in hoarded filth and squalor. That is absolutely disgusting and unhealthy for you both.
You could start throwing away rotting food and garbage after you have put her to bed for the night. Ask the doctor for a sleeping medication and dose her with it early in the evening so you can get some of this done. It's a small but at least getting the rotting garbage out is a start.
My mother is a hoarder though not one who saves spoiled food and rotting garbage. Everything else though. She started needing some help physically and financially and wanted me to move back after my divorce. I agreed, but with the condition that I will not live in a messy house let alone one that is hoarded. So, when she's go to bed at night I just started throwing out bag after bag of junk. Useless things and papers that she had to "save". She doesn't even know that I filled a small dumpster with this crap. I rented one and it was parked at my neighbor's house. For a week at night, bag after bag of junk and papers got thrown in that dumpster from all over the house. She didn't even notice. Then it was throwing bags of crap out with the regular trash. She never even noticed. She's convinced herself that she's always kept the house well. I don't correct her it's not worth a fight.
Just go ahead and start doing it. Your wife won't even notice. If she does and thwos a tantrum over it, she had dementia and will forget about it.