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I can only imagine how devastated you must be. I'm so sorry on the loss of your son.
What I would suggest is that you stay with a family member or friend for the next few days. Also call the therapists office and tell them you aren't coping well, that it's hard to breathe. That can be a sign of a panic attack. Ask to be seen much sooner.
If you don't get a good response, call your medical doctor's office and see if you can be seen right away. If necessary, go to an Urgent Care. They can refer you to the proper places to get some help.
I know you want to be with your son, as anyone would, but he would not want you to do anything to end your life. You need to keep living and work through your grief. He is with you in your heart.
The Suicide Crisis line is 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
May God help you in this agonizing time.
Sue has given you many ideas to follow up.
Big ((((((((hugs)))))) to you. I am sure your son knows you love him. I am so terribly sorry you lost him.
Know that your son needs to keep living and keep his memory alive.
My heart goes out to you.
Can you tell me more about yourself and your son?
And keep reaching out here, there's always someone to talk with any hour of the day or night.
Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!!!!
Please, don't hold in your grief. Scream at the moon then scream as the sun rises. Beat at the ground. Hold yourself and imagine your arms are really your friends here holding you. Take deep breaths. Hang on for one more day.