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I am my parents POA and it is a very difficult, sometimes time consuming, stressful, and unpleasant job. What is there for them to be upset about? Maybe jealous that your mom trusted you more then them to appoint you POA?
My younger brother has MPOA (medical) for mother. Big whoop. I just found out how very little that means. Mother can still make competent decisions for her own well being, but brother goes to EVERY Dr. visit and sits in and weighs in on everything. Mother won't allow anyone else to take her, since she thinks this is brother's 'job'. It's nice of him, but his opinions should not be the deciding factor in mom's care.
My other brother has DPOA, and he just holds the will and trust papers. He sits down with mother once a year and goes over everything. He does zero the rest of the year, because he doesn't NEED to. And it's not part of the 'job'.
If this is stressing you out and somebody else would like the 'job' ask mother to appoint somebody else and walk away.
Make sure that you keep exhaustive records of what you spend on Mom and anything to do with her upkeep. You will be accountable to probate court for that anyway. You are responsible for keeping those records, receipts, making sure her will is in order and up-to-date as well as her life insurance, funeral pre-planning, and any other needs she has are met. If brothers or sisters buy her a, say, TV and they want reimbursed, this is not an approved expense unless you told them to buy it. So they’d be stuck for the money.
I was never a meticulous record keeper and still am not. I have tons of papers from Mom and also Hubby who was in hospital at the same time. I nearly went insane trying to make sense of everything in both cases. Suspicious, uninformed and accusatory relatives would have probably caused me to go over the edge.
Also, make SURE all those records of expenses and anything else you do with Mom’s money is hard-copied and sent (proof of delivery receipt required) to all sibs at least quarterly.
What do your siblings think this means?