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Also it won't do any good threatening to report a Facebook scammer to the police. Especially if he's from overseas. If you can access mom's account, take screenshots and report him to Facebook.
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Gosh, they also do a sock campaign. Knitting or crochet circle idea, maybe?
I hope this organisation is respectable - they seem to be but I haven't come across them before, I must admit. You'd need to keep her attention off the fund raising sections, obviously.
www.soldiersangels.org if you'd like to follow it up.
Mom isn't going to change, and honestly? this "flirtation" online as long as it never progresses to the point they actually meet (and I'm pretty sure this person is phishing, big time) and your mom looks forward to talking to him/her and having something to divert her--may not be so bad. As long as you KNOW mom can't give anything to this person, well, the relationship will probably end, but she might be legit enjoying it.
I know my mother (88 and looks every second of it) thinks all the men at the Sr Center "want her". We just let her have her little fantasies. Since in order to "date" this old guys would need their kids to drive them....it's just a flirtation. No matter our age, we want to think we're slightly desirable, I guess.
The other day she did say she'd NEVER remarry---and I chuckled whole way home. I'm not going on THAT honeymoon and pushing TWO wheelchairs.
If she's truly bored, find some games and such on her computer and show her how to play them. Solitaire, Bingo, Yahtzee--a few I can think of. You can also do "virtual puzzles" online.
If you were having an exciting fantasy and someone burst the bubble for you and told you you were an idiot, no matter how right that someone was you would not be in the mood to thank them. Your mother was enjoying herself.
I sympathise with the frustration and hurt of this. Not my mother - she had other foibles - but other ladies I have known still do the "I'm a damsel rescue me" routine and I have to say that it does become positively undignified past a certain point. But old habits die hard. Your mother is not going to change now.
Your mom is being extorted for money. If you do not take measures now to shut this person down, they will take all her funds and she will have nothing. I was almost scammed out of my iPhone by someone who also called me “dear”, etc.
To be brutally honest, you need to take the helm here. Disable Mom’s access to social media. Warn the AL that she is being scammed by someone and she should not be allowed access to Social Media. Intercept a communication from this person, identify yourself, and tell them you know they are scamming your mom. If they don’t stop trying to contact her, you will notify the police with their contact information. If she has saved the communications, make copies. Suggest to her that if she feels the need for companionship, she should become involved in the activities at the AL and find someone in real time.
You feel so hopeless at trying to have a decent , real relationship with her because you are a perceptive person. It is hopeless. It ain't gonna happen. NOT YOUR FAULT!!
Are you Mom's POA?