By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
In the afternoon my father often took a nap. The caregiver would use this time to do the laundry- there was almost always sheets that needed washing as well as a few of my dads clothes. She’d say to me - when I said she didn’t need to do my mothers laundry as well - that she was doing the loads of washing anyway and it was no extra bother to add my moms clothes.
I knew my mother very well. My mom not only pinched pennies- she made them beg for mercy. Mom was the kind of woman who would stand in line if they were giving something away for free- even if she didn’t know what it was. So - I knew she was going to wring as much out of the paid caregiver as possible - if the caregiver let her.
The day I heard my mother on the phone referring to the caregiver as “the girl” - I knew there was a storm a’brewin’.
Like you - when ever the caregiver declined a task it was always because she needed to be doing something with and/or for my dad - her client.
Do follow cwillies advice on getting the daughter to put your job duties down in paper. Make sure she goes over it with the husband. Hopefully it will help - but it may not or not for long.
I talked to my mother until I was blue in the face - but that was my mom. No one but no one, told her what to do.
It is for the daughter to sort this out. She needs to sit down with you and write a formal job description, which is then also spelled out to her parents.
I wonder if he used to treat his wife like this, too? He sounds a proper little Hitler.
Anyway. Certainly it is not fair to expect you to negotiate boundaries. (Nicely) explain to the daughter that you can't work without a clear understanding on all sides of what you are there for, which everybody has to stick to.
She begged me to stay and told me to hold on she’s coming up there. I sat in my car and waited until she got there. (She’s their neighbor)
After she came over and talked with him, she told me to take the rest of the day off but come back the next day if I would. She begged me to come back and deeply apologized, but I was still completely disrespected.
From the beginning the husband of my patient has been rude and demanding. Expecting/telling me to fix him lunch and supper. Fill up his tea glass by holding it in the air, and pushing his dishes over to me while sitting at the table for a meal. So they don’t eat separate meals, but sometimes I fix her a sandwich and am wondering do I do the same for him. I know that seems petty, but he is completely capable of doing everything for himself. And he does, unless we’re here. I work privately for the family. The daughter hired me. And we never put anything in writing except my taxes.
After a while I noticed she was making dinner for the both of them - leaving covered plates in the fridge or something in the oven that my mother only needed to put on the table.
I took her aside and told her it wasn’t necessary for her to make meals for my mom. And my mom was perfectly capable of making dinner. She replied that her job was to look after my dad and keep him happy. That making my mother happy meant making my dad happy.
Eventually, this turned into her making meals and stocking them in the fridge for the weekends when she wasn’t on shift.
As no good deed never goes unpunished- this ended badly as I knew it would.
My mother started treating my fathers caregiver like she was the maid/housekeeper. When the caregiver started to politely decline some of the work my mother was trying to get her to do - my mother became very difficult with her - rude and frequently trying to pick fights.
As a result - after about a year the caregiver quit. It broke my fathers heart as he had become very attached to her. And honestly, I do believe it hastened his passing.
So - think this thru before you get too far into it all. Set clear boundaries up-front with your client and her husband as to how much extra you’re willing to do.
And by the way - cooking for company? No. Anything beyond bringing a cup of tea and a plate of cookies to your client and one or two visitors is expecting too much.
Cooking for company :/ - I don't think that could be considered in the same light. How much company, how much extra trouble, what about serving and clearing up after?
If it's a matter of a cup of tea and a sandwich during visits, fine. If you're being expected to put a formal lunch on the table, then you could courteously ask for clarification about what duties are included in your contract. You're a caregiver, not cook or housekeeper; and although of course you'll want to be flexible it isn't right for them to take advantage.
Do they have any other help at home? Would they consider getting any? A housekeeper once or twice a week might well be pleased to take on occasional entertaining too.
So being expected to? No. Should you attempt to? Possibly. After all, if this is your job and someone has already fixed different meals for both patients and you haven't, for lunch and for dinner. If employed by the same company, would you wonder how that might look to your employer? After all, it sounds like a judgment call. Would be inconvenient to you to fix two meals or fix something extra if you see company coming in? It sounds like a judgment call; what you wish to do for your patient.
As for company, I would have a conversation with whoever hired you to go over any concerns you have, detailing what exactly they expect and what you expect. If you haven't got it all in writing now is the time. Unfortunately some people try to take advantage of an employee's goodwill, and many allow it because they are afraid to lose their jobs. Hopefully you can come to an understanding that will satisfy you both.